♥ Monday, November 03, 2008
"Even in the middle of such a gray city
Where you can hardly hold yourself together
Don't laugh so weakly
With a resigned look
As if to say 'Such is life'"
About You - ayumi hamasaki
"From the moment these feelings overflowed
Before our fingers ever touched
I became aware of this love"
GREEN - ayumi hamasaki
...
Today is a bad day.
So it was SS today... SEQ and SBQ were both easy to me, just that the way the questions were phrased in SBQ took a while to digest... thus making me spend 1 hour 15 min on it.
I was only left with 15 min for my SEQ.
And I didn't finish it.
I didn't do my part b) for SEQ at all. 13 marks gone. Just like that.
I wish I would have done SEQ first... it was so much easier to comprehend... than the SBQ...
Hahaha for the past few papers, I've been thinking that I would be able to get into the school that I want to, because I'm really confident for my papers, barring Maths.
Now... maybe, or most likely, I will be doing very well. An ominous feeling. Above 20 points I guess. Retribution? But for what? I don't know either.
I'm feeling very demoralized now. But once again, I know again that I will feel all right the next day.
I wonder if it's because of my ability to bounce back after each adversity that people think it's okay to disturb me. Supposing that I am a weakling who stumbles and never gets up after a fall, will people start to sympathize with me? Will people finally start leaving me alone? Will people finally start showing concern to me?
I'm sick of this 'I'm independent' mindset sometimes. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so independent. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't be walking home/waiting at the bus stop alone and thinking, "It's all right." Sometimes I wish I could be a super cool joker to get everyone's attention, and have everyone to be my friend.
Sometimes, I...
I don't belong in any clique in my class, but I belong in every clique in my class. I guess that's why I'm really not particularly close to any of my classmates.
Band. Oh I forgot I've passed out and shouldn't going back to disturb people whom I want to see again.
I don't know what to do now. I feel kind of lost. Maybe when this night is over, I'll start feeling better. It has always been like that, right?
...
"I was born alone and would live alone
I thought it was certainly natural for me to live in such a way"
A Song For xx - ayumi hamasaki
"At the moment the wind changes
Before I can see my loved one
I wonder if I should say how I feel"
GREEN - ayumi hamasaki
Listened to music @ 8:57 PM
