♥ Friday, June 30, 2006
Ok first, the blog theme has been changed to frozen. I've searched all the frozen related blogskins and this is so far the best, so Jason Ng I didn't steal ar!
And why frozen? Cos I'm frozen now! My heart's a piece of ice and people are hitting it everyday, my fragile heart can't take such a hit, but I'm holding on as long as I can.
Today is Youth Day! A day where youths get to do their thing!... So I came to scholl then go and help out in the games already... And I hoped people would come! Blah blah blah, after the very tiring NCC day thingy, we finally could get started but... some costume parade stuff. And 4E was doing hard gay! Lol... Then I went to "support" my class's food stall, go buy a bowl of laksa and eat, and omg it's quite good... So we dragged people, and we asked teachers like Mdm Wong and Ms Lum... lol and guess what the laksa was sold out at around 11 am! Lol. Then I walked around the school, dedicated 2 songs, one to Ken Tan and one to the sec4s. Then I went to a "gay bar" of 3J. Haha it was hilarious till the end. If you wanna know more, all I can say is too bad that you didn't go! So finally my shift to the games!!! Then I was like sitting on a chair, shouting to people to come buy the games... Very cold response but thank God still have people. Then I took a break, in which I went down to the band concert ticket stall and borrowed a poster from them then I pasted on our "territory"... And I told the passers-by this stupid thing, "If you buy a concert ticket, I let you play the game for free." Lol, didn't work, maybe cos a concert ticket costs like 5 times more than the game? Or was it my unpopularity? ... The answer is unsolved... So our surprise as claimed by Mr Kwok and Ronin this totally rock rock band came and "surprised" us... Lol, anyway through them, I learnt a very important lesson about music.
I was never a fan of rock music but through Ronin I learnt that an artist's appeal is not by his genre of music, not how he sings them, but by his passion for music, his love for music, his determination and attitude towards music, you can hear all that in his voice, in his music, and whether you like his genre or not, you would be touched and inspired by his passion, by his warmth, by his love. So, it doesn't matter of you like Classical music or rock music, it's the passion and love that makes you support that person, so... MSSB Concert, "Realm" on Sunday, 30th July 2006, 17 00 hours, @ VCH, I know you like Green Day, but please come cos you feel our passion and love for music!
Do I have to change my name?
Will it get me far?
Should I lose some weight?
Am I gonna be a star?
I tried to be a boy, I tried to be a girl
I tried to be a mess, I tried to be the best
I guess I did it wrong,
That's why I wrote this song
This type of modern life - Is it for me?
This type of modern life - Is it for free?
So, I went into a bar looking for sympathy
A little company
I tried to find a friend
It's more easily said it's always been the same
This type of modern life -Is not for me?
This type of modern life -Is not for free?
American life
I live the american dream
You are the best thing I've seen,
You are not just a dream
I tried to stay ahead,I tried to stay on top
I tried to play the part,
But somehow I forgot
Just what I did it for
And why I wanted more
This type of modern life - Is it for me?
This type of modern life - Is it for free?
Do I have to change my name?
Will it get me far?
Should I lose some weight?
Am I gonna be a star?
American life
I live the american dream
You are the best thing I've seen,
You are not just a dream
I tried to be a boy,I tried to be a girl
I tried to be a mess,I tried to be the best
I tried to find a friend, I tried to stay ahead
I tried to stay on top...
Fuck it...
Do I have to change my name?
Will it get me far?
Should I lose some weight?
Am I gonna be a star?
*Rap*
I'm drinking a Soy latte
I get a double shot
It goes right through my body
And you know I'm satisfied,
I drive my mini cooper
And I'm feeling super-dooper
Yo they tell I'm a trooper
And you know I'm satisfied
I do yoga and pilates
And the room is full of hotties
So I'm checking out the bodies
And you know I'm satisfied
I'm digging on the isotopes
This metaphysic's shit is dope
And if all this can give me hope
You know I'm satisfied
I got a lawyer and a manager
An agent and a chef
Three nannies, an assistant
And a driver and a jet
A trainer and a butler
And a bodyguard or five
A gardener and a stylist
Do you think I'm satisfied?
I'd like to express my extreme point of view
I'm not Christian and I'm not a Jew
I'm just living out the American dream
And I just realized that nothing
Is what it seems
Do I have to change my name?
Am I gonna be a star?
Do I have to change my name?
Am I gonna be a star?
Do I have to change my name?
"American Life" Madonna from the album American Life
Wow, this song totally describes how I feel in band now... In particular these lines "I tried to stay ahead,I tried to stay on top. I tried to play the part, but somehow I forgot just what I did it for and why I wanted more"
Yeah very true...
Jun Xiang bitched on Friday, June 30th, 2006, 21 34 hours
Listened to music @ 9:34 PM
♥ Tuesday, June 27, 2006
If you don't like my attitude you can fuck off.
I've had so many lives
Since I was a child
And I realised
How many times I've died
I'm not that kind of guy
Sometimes I feel shy
I think I can fly
Closer to the sky
No one's telling you how to live your life
But it's a setup until you're fed up
This world is not so kind
People trap your mind
It's so hard to find
Someone to admire
I sleep much better at night
I feel closer to the light
Now I'm gonna try
To improve my life
No one's telling you how to live your life
But it's a setup until you're fed up
It's no good when you're misunderstood
But why should I care
What the world thinks of me
Won't let a stranger
Give me a social disease
Nobody, nobody knows me
Nobody knows me
Nobody knows me
Like you know me
Nobody knows me
Nobody knows me
Nobody knows me
Like you know me
I don't want no lies
I don't watch TV
I don't waste my time
Won't read a magazine
I don't want no lies
I don't watch TV
I don't waste my time
Won't read a magazine
I sleep much better at night
I feel closer to the light
Now I'm gonna try
To improve my life
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody knows me
Nobody knows me
Nobody knows me
Like you know me
Nobody knows me (It's no fun but the damage is done)
Nobody knows me
Nobody knows me (Don't want your social disease)
Like, like you know me
Like you know me
Like you know me
Like you know me (Don't want your social disease)
Like you know me
I'm gonna try
To improve my life
"Nobody Knows Me" Madonna from the album Americna Life
If you think that calling me names, giving me dirty looks, insult me in everything, do stuff to me is gonna make me defeated and quit band/breakdown, please stop it. You are wasting your time, byatches. I'm not gonna care what you say or what you do, I always thought that there was always a good side in you but you kept proving me wrong. I've given up on you. What you see is not neccesarily what you get, and nothing is what it seems... You have your life and I have mine. I don't care what you do, my life's pretty protected with an attitude and a personality of mine. You can ask the whole band to hate me and influence them to believe who I'm not but I know there are still people who are really seeing the real me.
Cool I am
When I am with you
Cool I'm not
When I am lonely
I feel so sad
What I did wasn't right
I feel so bad
And I must say to you
Sorry, but
Nobody's perfect
Nobody's perfect
What did you expect
I'm doing my best
I feel so sad
But you know
I'll be true
I feel so bad
And I must say to you
Sorry, but
Nobody's perfect
Nobody's perfect
What did you expect
I'm doing my best
Nobody's perfect
Nobody's perfect
I was dishonest
I will do my best
Yeah
"Nobody's Perfect" Madonna from the album Music
Yeah right nobody's perfect, do you think everyone should be like you? Rebellious, malicious, malovent? I'm sorry boy but here I am your perfct example of everything you do not wish to be. I don't mind giving a polar opposite but please shut up for bloody God's sake.
I'm not sorry, it's human nature. I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me.
Stick out my tongue and I'm not giving in to you.
Poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another.
Yeah I'm rich.
Jun Xiang bitched on Tuesday, June 27, 2006, 22 33 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:33 PM
♥ Sunday, June 25, 2006
Band camp is over and it's time to reflect on it and it sure will be a nice post you bet.
Ok first day, and we were like supposed to move all our stuff from the D&T studio to the music room and I was like "Yipee, we're gonna have air conditioned room until the original band room is done!" So I happily moved the stuff up and looking at us moving things oh it touches me. And then there was sectionals and like the masterclass teacher, Mr Ong, lol he really damn pro, so many advice for us and the meals... eew... sterotypicaly a fat person should be gobbling up food and starving the rest of the band members but uh-uh like I ate so little cos I was like no appetite at all and besides I hate rice, eew. Then we had combined band prac for like almost 5 hours I think, and Andre was like complaining saying how tired he is and how he hates band and forgot to tell you guys but during sectionals a.k.a masterclass that Mr Ong was like in detail going through Hanover and he kept repeating the same parts and Andre was like "I have no patience to keep playing the same thing over and over again." Omg like hello who the hell said that to a masterclass teacher who is like 100 times more pro? Then the most extraordinary thing happened. At night, while we were sechuldued to do Jupiter and its dance, me and some other people who are just not good enough, I suppose we went to the D&T studio instead and had some like basic training which was good actually like revision like that. And end of 1st day, so fast...
2nd day, games day! Lol to tell the truth I wasn't looking forward to it cos I have a premonition of something bad happening. Whatever I forgot the morning stuff except that they did Jupiter while me and some other people were having sectionals with Chien Teng, supposedly to brush ourselves up. Haha good practice though. Then lunch, the most embarrassing thing happened. I took very little rice and alot of people were like shocked lol. Then Ms Lee was like "I heard you like tofu." Which is true but how does she know? Mystery unsolved... So I ate alot of tofu lor... Haha. Then after lunch we had this instrument maintanence thingy and then we had games so there was this part where I am supposed to receive some punishment and Nicholas took up the job how ironic 2 supposed best friends facing off....
3rd day was fast fast fast so we had to move all our stuff back to the D&T studio and I'm like omg I thought we're having the music room... How disappointing. So we were slow in our work thus we were pumped. Pumping sucks but through it you can see why the band rocks cos the majors do it too unlike uniform groups so ya I'm proud to be in band. Then we had lunch. And I did a fear factor challenge. The story was Simeon wanted me to be healthy so he gave me a lot of french beans. The problem is the beans were extra times a million spicy and I can't take it at all but I don't wanna waste food so I did a fear challenge and I kept eating the beans while running here and there to get fresh cold water. And I did it! Yeah but no 1 million dollars. *frown* Then it was sectionals while other people did Jupiter then went home... Band camp is so fun and fast....
When is the next band camp?
Jun Xiang bitched on Monday, June 26, 2006, 16 30 hours.
Listened to music @ 1:27 PM
♥ Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I gotta shake it off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake it off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake it off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake it off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means
I gotta shake it off
By the time you get this message
It's gonna be too late
So don't bother paging me
Cause I'll be on my way
See, I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes
Just ask your mama she knows
You're gonna miss me baby
Hate to say I told you so
Well at first I didn't know
But now it's clear to me
You would cheat with all your freaks
And lie compulsively
So I packed up my Louis Vuitton
Jumped in your ride and took off
You'll never ever find a girl
Who loves you more than me
I gotta shake it off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake it off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake it off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake it off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means
I gotta shake it off
I gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off...
I found out about a gang
Of your dirty little deeds
With this one and that one
By the pool, on the beach, in the streets
Heard y'all was
Hold up my phone's breakin' up
I'm hang up and call the machine right back
I gotta get this off of my mind
You wasn't worth my time
So I'm leaving you behind
Cause I need a real love in my life
Save this recording becauseI'm never coming back home
Baby I'm gone
Don't cha know
I gotta shake it off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake it off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake it off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciated all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake it off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means
I gotta shake it off
I gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off...
Yeah shake it off, I'm gonna shake you off, don't expect me to do anything to you anymore, I've given up on you because you've given up on yourself, shake it off, shake you off, never to return again, eat your life out, you're gonna die regretting this, a-hole, buh-bye!
S.O.S Won't someone help me from this, Y.O.U are making this hard, shh... Live your jerk life.
Thanks to you now I feel so cool and great now, your life wasn't mine and it's not me to control so you must have did a bad job in ruling your life...
Absolute power? Meet my left foot.
You are defenitely not the one I'll talk to when I'm depressed, cry to when I feel so sad, scream to when I need to unwind, j-e-r-k, yes you are a jerk, and I don't wanna live with you in my mind anymore.
And I could get used to this, life without you.
Nothing really matters, everything I give you, all comes back to me...
=P byatch.
Jun Xiang bitched on Tuesday, June 20, 2006, 13 00 hours.
Listened to music @ 1:00 AM
♥ Sunday, June 18, 2006
What does 4ever tell you? Love that will last 4ever? Living not for 4ever? Your enemy will not live 4ever? Love will not last 4ever? Or is it it will take 4ever for you to understand me?
Is Ken really everything I'm not? Then why do you always hang out with him and leave me here, making me think that you hate me? Pain, confusion, wrath... Not to mention the tears I shed, I should have kicked your ass instead...
Ok, so it looks like no one there will react positively to everything I've done, oh whatever, gotta be Miss Independent again...
Wake me up before I change my mind, take my hand before I'm out of time, I know what you want from me, I can see it in your face, or you would become my enemy in 13 days...
Why do I feel so f-ed up now?
I am gone spiritually now...
Don't tell me... to stop... Don't tell me... to stop loving... Don't tell me... to stop loving you...
Please don't... tell me... to stop loving you...
I wanna be in the passenger seat, get off and let me drive, so sweet here, in the passenger seat...
I see you looking at me like I'm some kind of freak, get out of your seat, why don't you do somethin'?!
Oh whatever, I still have not decided to draw the line or not, so you;re not going anywhere.
Jun Xiang confessed on Sunday, June 18, 2006, 21 48 hours.
Listened to music @ 9:48 AM
♥ Saturday, June 17, 2006
Oh no
Don't go changing
That's what everyone told me from the start
Thought you were something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the guy that you hang out with
He was tearing us apart
Cause he's everything
Everything I'm not
It's not like I need somebody
Telling me how gay and stuck up I am
Don't worry you'll find somebody
Someone to tell you how to live your life
Cause your so perfect
And no one measures up
Yeah all by yourself
You're all messed up
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the guy that you hang out with
He was tearing us apart
Cause he's everything
Everything I'm not
Now wait a minute
Because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
Hey don't you get it
I'm not going to let you mess up my life tonight
Cause this is my life
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the guy that you hang out with
He was tearing us apart
Cause he's everything
Everything I'm not
NOTE: The chorus of this song was originally this;
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not
So the original lyrics is a love song, but this one that I posted has been edited to a friend to friend version, so I wasn't, am not, and never will love you! Get it?
Just one taste and you want more.
So back to the lyrics, is it over that my try to pull you back is useless? I guess it is, considering the way you are reacting. This guy you're hanging out with is Ken, and say I'm stuck up or whatever you want, but I believe he tell tales to you about me. And he's tearing us apart!!!
The Veronicas are the singers of this song, oh intro, the Veronicas are two australian twins that sing like a crossover of Hilary Duff and Avril Lavinge, the only difference is, they aren't like any of those two. They are not fake like them. Oh ya, in iTunes, I've got this playlist called "Rock Girls!!!" and it's chunked full of girls who sing rock songs. From really real ones like Liz Phair and the Veronicas, to those as fake as Hilary Duff, and I say it will be sastifying to those Green Day, Foo Fighters, whatever rock/alternative bands you have here's fans.
Ok, so anyway it is so surreal that I have to give you up. Hmph...
What do you when it all falls apart?
I don't feel like saying cos I feel real bad now. These two songs (one at the top, and one coming up!) can seriously just tell you what I'm feeling.
Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind
First you act like a jerk
Then you make me remember how good you can be
Giving mixed signals and signs
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You make me believe you're ready
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
I can't keep coming back to you
Every time I think you're nice
You break my heart once again
It's so hard to move on
Cause every time I think you're gone
You show up in my rearview mirror
Is this just a detour?
Cause I gotta be sure
That you really mean what you say
It's so hard to let you in
Thinking you might slam the brakes again
Put the pedal down
Heading out of town
Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain's
Driving me insane
This is more than I can take
You make me believe you're ready
Then throw your heart into reverse
I gotta get away
To a place where
I can be redefined
Where you're out of sight
And you're out of mind
But the truth is
I can't even say goodbye
Jun Xiang confessed on Saturday, June 17th, 2006, 22 13 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:14 PM
♥ Friday, June 16, 2006
Sky fits heaven so fly it
That's what the prophet said to me
Child fits mother so hold your baby tight
That's what my future could see
Fate fits karma so use it
That's what the wise man said to me
Love fits virtue so hold on to the light
That's what our future will be
Traveling down this road
Watching the signs as I go
I think I'll follow the sun
Isn't everyone just
Traveling down their own road
Watching the signs as they go
I think I'll follow my heart
It's a very good place to start
Hand fits giving so do it
That's what the Gospel said to me
Life fits living so let your judgments go
That's how our future should be
Traveling down this road
Watching the signs as I go
I think I'll follow the sun
Isn't everyone just
Traveling down their own road
Watching the signs as they go
I think I'll follow my heart
It's a very good place to start
Wow, we are all indeed travelling down roads of ours, looking for signs, shortcuts, backroads, anything that'll make our journey easier, but what we all do not know is all these shortcuts don't work well, and we all end up hurt, the best place to start with and follow is our heart...
Ok, so someone is very confused why I would him to forgive him cos he thinks that since we don't talk much, have a disconnection, how am I even supposed to make a mistake for him to forgive? Ok, so the answer is the so called forgiveness is actually wanting you to forgive me for all the hatred you have for me, and little did I expect that you think that I'm hitting on you now... So weird like God doesn't want us to be on good terms, how shitty. Trying to ignore you but you disturb me so when I try to be on good terms you think I'm hitting on you. If you think that I'm hitting on you because of what someone else said, for God's sake, you are being naive, like me, do not believe what they say because ultimately if you choose to forgive me it's you who will be erm on good terms with me, not them, so why do you care about what they say? I'm trying my best to be a person that is able to accept reality, admit defeat, but this, without even trying hard enough and I am suppposed give up, no way!
When I was very young
Nothing really mattered to me
But making myself happy
I was the only one
Now that I am grown
Everything's changed
I'll never be the same
Because of you
Nothing really matters
Love is all we need
Everything I give you
All comes back to me
Looking at my life
It's very clear to me
I lived so selfishly
I was the only one
I realize
That nobody wins
Something is ending
And something begins
Nothing really matters
Love is all we need
Everything I give you
All comes back to me
Nothing takes the past away
Like the future
Nothing makes the darkness go
Like the light
You're sheltered from the storm
Give me comfort in your arms
Nothing really matters
Love is all we need
Everything I give you
All comes back to me
While trying to get your forgiveness, I've learnt alot, I can't use underhand means to get you because in the end, your feelings for me are unreal, and everything comes to a nought... Sincerity, humality, kindness, is what I need to really touch you in the end, oh God...
I can't remember
When I was young
I can't explain
If it was wrong
My life goes on
But not the same
Into your eyes
My face remains
I've been so high
I've been so down
Up to the skies
Down to the ground
I was so blind
I could not see
Your paradise
Is not for me
Autour de moi
Je ne vois pas
Qui sont des anges
Surement pas moi
Encore une fois
Je suis cassee
Encore une fois
Je n'y crois pas
(English translation)
All around me
I could not see
Who are the angels
Surely not me
Once more again
I am broken
Once more again
I don't believe it
There is a light
Above my head
Into your eyes
My face remains
Your paradise is not for me
When is it that I can enter your paradise, your paradise of happiness, of love, of laughter, of hope? Only when you forgive me, I suppose...
I love you like how a junior should love his senior, with admiration, with respect, I love you like how a junior should love his senior...
Jun Xiang confessed on Friday, June 16, 2006, 14 52 hours.
Listened to music @ 2:56 PM
♥ Thursday, June 15, 2006
Does the world revolve because of love? For a love-sick person like me, I would say yes. But in my eyes of strong belief, I don't see so. People backstabbing their friends for fame, power, status, wealth, in here, not caring of other's feelings for themselves and for their revenge. I saw Braceface, a kids central show, and on Monday I think, this girl took revenge on this other girl. Then after her revenge she said "Isn't revenge supposed to be sweet? Why don't I feel that way?" Yeah, I totally agree, like I could take revenge back on you guys, but all I would get in the end is eternal hatred and pain and regret and torment and I don't feel good. At all. It's the love and concern that I have towards you that will make me feel bad if I ever took revenge.
The best way to end every bad blood is to make up with each other, to get more personal, to know each other more, and I would love to have a ncie chat, but I know you would never want to even talk to me, so we have a hard time trying to be friends again. The 2nd best way would to be have a bad bitchfight to the end, but isn't that stupid, causing more hurt?
You say you gotta go but what does that mean
Do you wanna be together or is it just me
Sometimes I think your in until I think your out
It's like I'm swimming in the deep end
Pull me out
Want me to feel
Want me to know
Want you to steal a little piece of heaven
I can call my own
Can we try a little more personal
Can we throw away all the casual
Cuz the more I know about you and the more you know about me
It's easier to be a little more personal
It's like we do a dance where no one wants to move
But if I take the first step
Then maybe we can find a groove
I'm really trying hard
To not just walk away
I think that its about time someone said
Want me to feel
Want me to know
Want you to steal a little piece of heaven
I can call my own
I wanna know what goes on in your mystery
I think that I could have the key to unlock everything
Can we try a little more personal
Can we throw away all the casual
Cos the more I know about you and the more you know about me
It's easier to be a little more personal
A little more personal between us? I've already reached out my hand, it's up to you now if you want to reach your hand out now...
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you forgive me
Yeah, I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you forgive me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper
Cause you still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you forgive me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's stubborn?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Indeed I am, but that is if you ever know me, everybody's talking, they talk about me, but they don't really know me...
Lust and Pride are my two greates sins, and because of you, I'm willing to change that. You don't see the real me unless you know me.
Love makes the world go round...
Jun Xiang confessed at Thursday, 15 th June, 2006, 21 43 hours.
Listened to music @ 9:47 PM
♥
A Love Profusion... Let's analyze this in detail. Ok, so everyone knows what love is right? ok, that old mama there rose her hand. Ok...
Love is the feeling of passion and caring and concern you have towards another person. Love can be classified into different categories. Erotic, platonic, family. Erotic love is love that involves sex and sexual pleasure. Platonic love is love between two people in particular two hetrosexual different gender people in a relationship that does not involve sex. Family love is love among family members.
Now... profusion is the hard one, ok I can see some people putting up their hands. Ok, profusion derives from the root word profuse. Now if I say "She bled profusely." it means that she is bleeding alot of blood. So profuse means overflowing with something. And profusion being a noun, refers to overflowing with something too -.-".
So a love profusion is overflowing with love. Let's take this love as a family love.
So we can apply love profusion into the band where every note you hear is full of FAMILY love, ok some idiots would think incest, no, no just family love that has no incest, ok? So, why can't MSSB be a love profusion? Why is there so much hatred among us that all we hear are sounds of anger, displeasure, hatred, wrath, why? We should be loving, caring for other members, bear no grudges, why are some people so bend on taking their "revenge" that they don't care about the feelings about the other members, they don't care if what they were doing or saying could be generating suicidal thoughts in that person they were insulting? Ok, so reading this you might be thinking that person dies, I would be even happier. Ok, that is so wrong cos you would only feel that way for like three days? In which after that, and in particular if you're a Christian/Catholic you would realize that your selfish actions led to the death to another person, erm is that a sin? I guess so. So guilt would be living in you forever and there's nothing you can do about it because the death can't be reborn. So, a love profusion would be very important in a group that requires alot of teamwork, like a band. When you could be the best beacuse you won gold in the SYF 2005, so what? When you go to a concert to play and the audience hears to the hatred, they would be so disgusted that they totally forgot that MSSB won a gold for SYF 2005.
There are too many questions
There is not one solution
There is no resurrection
There is so much confusion
And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love vibration
You make me feel
You make it shine
There are too many options
There is no consolation
I have lost my illusions
What I want is an explanation
And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love direction
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel like god too
There is no comprehension
There is real isolation
There is so much destruction
What I want is a celebration
And I know I can feel bad
When I get in a bad mood
And the world can look so sad
Only you make me feel good like god too
And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love intention
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel like god too
And I know I can feel bad
When I get in a bad mood
And the world can look so sad
Only you make me feel good
Read the lyrics and you'll know alot of them actually relates to the current condition and situation in MSSB now, like "There is no comprehension, there is real isolation." We don't understand each other (comprehension), we don't talk to each other (isolation). Let's hope it all settles well and beautiful.
Remember, LOVE PROFUSION.
Ok, class dismissed.
Jun Xiang confessed on Thursday, 15th June, 2006, 11 04 hours.
Listened to music @ 11:07 AM
♥ Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I watched She's The Man on Monday, and I tell you this is a must-watch movie, especially if you are a die hard teen popcorn flick fan, it's funny, sassy, bitchy, jsut about what you expect from a teen movie. The catch? It's not Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff in the credits list! Yeah, the main cast is Amanda Bynes, no typical teen queen, so it's quite a novelty. Ok, so this story is about a girl called Viola who loves soccer and her soccer team gets cut off so she BECOMES her brother, Sebastian, for 2 weeks in his school to prove to her previous school that girls can play soccer. Sounds fimilar? Yeah, looks like Bend It Like Beckham. Ok, whatever, that's not the main point, little does she know that in her new school, she falls in love with her roomate, Duke. Now, this is really complicated cos...
Duke wants Olivia who wants Sebastian who is dating Monique, so she hates Olivia, who goes out with Duke to make Sebastian jealous, who is really Viola getting jealous, whose boyfriend, Justin doesn't know that she's crushing on Duke, whom Duke thinks Viola/Sebastian is a guy...
Yeah it sure is complicated. Interesting to see how Viola struggles in her dorm where guys are like everywhere, and she's gotta wake up at 4 30 am everyday, just to bathe... And it's all for soccer! Grr...
And I say, if you don't watch it, you're gonna miss out on what could be worth 100 lessons of depression counselling.
Ok, back to business, let me say this. "I don't have to be your boyfriend for a sexual relationship to be your boyfriend for a platonic relationship."
Which means I don't have to love you to like you.
So, get it? Ya, I know that you still won't cos' you'll never, please make me wrong in this statement...
"Girls with asses like mine do not talk to guys with faces like yours." If that was in the past, yeah I would have used that attitude towards you. But now... no way...
*Sigh* I'm wary now and I'm waiting for you.
Don't let the fruit rot under the vine
Let's fill up the cup and drink the wine
Better the devil that you know
Your love for me will grow
Because
This is who I am
You can like it or not
You can love me or leave me
Cos I'm never gonna stop
No,no
Jun Xiang confessed at Wednesday, June 14, 2006, 10 09 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:07 PM
♥
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby...
Yes, I feel so alone, crestfallen and vulnerable now, I was reading Alrick's blog today and I'm like "Omg, I didn't know I am such a bitch. Am I really that awful? Is it time for me to change?" Then it all became a confusion, is it all an illusion, everything I thought I was? I guess I'm not half the man I thought I would me... And I emphasize that particular paragraph,
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
I think everything is my fault now, oh my god... I made it rain, please forgive me cos I'm really sorry...
Sorry
Je suis desolée (Sorry in French)
Lo siento (Sorry in Spanish)
Ik ben droevig (I am sad in Dutch)
Sono spiacente (Sorry in Italian)
Perdóname (Forgive me in Spanish)
ごめんなさい (Sorry in Japanese)
Mujhe maaf karo (Sorry in Hindi)
Przepraszam (Sorry in Polish)
Forgive me
Do you accept my apology? I hope you do.
I still remember Primary school life when everything is peaceful and nice, bitches were rare, and I was not such an asshole. But now into Secondary school life... full of backstabs, tears, pain, and unhappiness... and I am a bitch!
I can't turn time back but maybe I can change the future? If it's bitter at the start then it's sweeter in the end, I suppose...
I don't want pity, I just want your forgiveness.
If you believe in this crap that I'm gonna write... then you believe in me...
All I wanted to do was to protect myself and be not vulnerable be jsut strong and immune to insults and backstabs, but they are drowning me now... And now, I feel, more vulnerable, more of a bitch, and just less a personality, less a soul...
Will you forgive me? I really hope you do.
What's a forbidden love? It's a love, erotic, family, friends, whatever, that can't be "performed" due to circumstances...
Will you change your perception about me and actually have a chat with at the next band practice? Cos I really hope you do.
And now, I end off this confession with another song lyrics...
I traded fame for love
Without a second thought
It all became a silly a game
Some things cannot be bought
I got exactly what I asked for
Wanted it so badly
Running, rushing back for more
I suffered fools so gladly
And now I find
I've changed my mind
The face of you
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you
My substitute for love
I traveled round the world
Looking for a home
I found myself in crowded rooms
Feeling so alone
I had so many lovers
Who settled for the thrill
Of basking in my spotlight
I never felt so happy
Famous faces, far off places
Trinkets I can buy
No handsome stranger, heady danger
Drug that I can try
No ferris wheel, no heart to steal
No laughter in the dark
No one-night stand, no far-off land
No fire that I can spark
The face of you
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you
My substitute for love
Now I find
I've changed my mind
This is my religion...
Note: The religion... I'm a freethinker currently, and I would love to be a follower of the Kabblah religion (Madonna's religion), but only when I'm older, when I'm emancipated.
And read the lyrics, I wanna change to be a better person, if being gay or fat is not why people hate me, then it's just me, myself, and I...
I hope you'll forgive me...
Jun Xiang confessed on Monday, June 12, 2006, 21 57 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:07 PM
♥
The word homo is the Greek word for same. It has since been used as homosexual which means gay and homo-sepians, which means normal humans. And there's one more, homophobic, which refers to a person being very paraniod about gays, their lifestyles, etc. They hate gays, if they could, they would exterminate gays. That's homophobic, and I have quite a bit of seniors who are homophobic. They get freaked out by gays, then fear turns to jealousy, then jealousy turns to hatred and now they are freaked out, jealous of and hate gays.
"Who would be jealous of a gay?"
Oh, you sure ACT like you don't but I know you do. Not only that, you are scared and hate gays right? I'm not thick-skinned or what, but if you think I'm gonna quit band because of you homophobics, then you're wrong. I'll not quit band. Maybe you should cos you are dragging everyone down. Whatever, I just don't think I've done anything wrong. This is MY life, it's YOUR choice. Why would you wanna butt in? You are just adding fear to yourself, wasting your time in hatred, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Where was I before I was totally interrupted?
Oh yes, I was saying nothing.
Jun Xiang bitched at Sunday, June 11th, 2006, 12 36 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:07 PM
♥
A person would only despise someone else cos' he's jealous of him. A senior would only bitch about his junior cos' he's jealous of him. A guy would only hate gays cos he's jealous of gays. Jealous at how strong gays are in facing the eyes of the "pures", jealous at how many female friends gays get (ok, so they do share alot of things in common... lol), jealous at how gays are just better than them, so they hate gays... Well, well, well, don't we see something here? All those jerks who claim they hate gays/faggots, well too bad! Cos' the world thinks that YOU are jealous of them :P!!! So they who hate me, you guys have anything to say?
Controversy is my middle name ;). And I do create alot of controversies in my life... It's their decision if they like it or not, and they really just show what sort of person they are, cos just to know some latest gossips about your hater to bitch about with your "gay-haters" you neglect your juniors and your skills that you've honed for 2 1/2 years. PATHETIC. Mind you, bicthing, spreading rumors, gossiping are created by God specially for the ladies and the homosexuals. One more thing, if the rainbow is a gay color (is it even a color in the first place?), then Red is gay, Yellow is gay, Orange is gay, Green is gay, Blue is gay, Violet is gay and Indigo is gay too! Omg, I think Alrick's bag is green and Justin Mark's font color in his MSN is green too... Yikes... You can go infer yourself... Quite obvious somemore, only an idiot won't be understanding it.
****Special****
My top 10 ladies.
I've idolized them for ages, I've loved them for ages, now I wanna honor them!!!
10. Aly & AJ
What better way to countdown than have these two sisters? I love their debut album, Into the Rush, omg like Rush is so nice!!! You go girls!!!
9. Ashlee Simpson
Ah, the girl who had ups and downs and had a sister that totally sucks, caught lip-synching in SNL... oh Ashlee, I forgive you!!!
8. Lindsay Lohan
90% of the world hates her, and I'm one of the 10% that don't. From a brunette to a black??? To now a blondie, Lindsay Lohan has dyed her hair more times than me fantasizing about Justin, but I still love her! isn't she wonderful? And please hear out for Black Hole, you're gonna cry after you hear it... ANd catch her latest endeavor in the big screen, Just My Luck, 22nd June 2006 (Damn it that day is the start of the band camp!!!)
7. Paris Hilton
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" and "That's hot" are her catchphrases, and I use them!!! She is a bitch, a slut, but I still love her!!!
6. Faith Hill
You think I'm gonna exclude this Country babe from my list??? Just what got me her attention??? Oh, I was watching MVs then yahoo popped the "Like We Never At All" video into the player and I'm like enticed by it!!! So, I love this girl now... Gotta have faith (pun intended) in her!!!
5. Eva Longoria
This girl that posed for FHM... that's not why I like her though... It's her charactar as Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives that got me... Wow... she rocks so much... like I've only liked two of the Housewives... 30, NOT blonde... hmm... she's gonna be my godsis.
4. Liz Phair
Dubbed as the "Princess of Indie Rock" this 39 year old mama sure got me listening to her songs with hits like "F*** and Run" , "Why Can't I?". Oh be sure to check out her 2003 album Liz Phair and look out for "H.W.C", stands for Hot White Cum, any gal who sings that beautifully is gonna be my idol. F.Y.I she's a mum.
3. Marcia Cross
The 43 year-old *old-mama* who's Bree Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives. Gotta love her! She's downright bitchy in the show and a real woman in Hollywood? Anything else? Oh, NO.
2. Jessica Alba
Alba, ABBA, Alba, ABBA, oh I'm confused! nah you can't be. The girl who's willing to get naked for Sin City (but she did not), gets vulnerable in Fantastic Four, and er-hem hot in In The Blue, her compared to the girls from ABBA? Puh-leez.
1. Madonna
Yes you heard it. This 47 year mama is first!? Yesh!!! That's right... Hm I love her! From Like A Virgin to COADF, every album is stellar! I love em' all... Muacks! I'm a Madonna fan... LALALA... Ouch I am so lame...
That's all folks! Cya...
Jun Xiang bitched at 9th June 2006, Friday, 22 06 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:07 PM
♥
"The opposite of love is not hatred but aloofness. If you hate me, it shows that you still care for me and I have a chance to pull you back to the right track." Bree Van de Kamp a.k.a Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives when her son Andrew a bisexual, said "I hate you." to her.
Well, I must agree with this. Wow... so Ken, Alrick and Justin Mark still care for me? Oh my gawd... (Hopefully they'll get freaked out by this and stop bothering me.)
Hmm... the Philwinds concert last Saturday (Lol, I'm so late at reporting stuff ^_^) was fantastic if not magnificent.
A few important points.
1) Oh my gawd, I loved the trombone solo!!!
2) The saxophone soli was "ooh" and "wow!"!!!
3) Ken fell asleep towards the end of the concert. (Aww...)
Point 1:
The trombone solo gave me a new look (or sounds for that matter) of a trombone. Sure I've heard that majestic sound in Persis, that weird sound in Bolero, that masculine sound in Rainbow Breeze March (any march piece for that matter.) And like oh my god, that solo was stellar, I emphasize the word STELLAR. It's like seducing all people out there wondering which instrument they should pick up to learn, it just decided for them. [Alrick, are you reading this!!!???]
Point 2:
During the 2nd song (Or was it the 3rd? Lol.), it sounded like a latino-jazz-blues songs and the saxophone were highlighted, and their soli was fantastic, I emphasize the word FANTASTIC. Like the saxophones I hear in recording and in the band were like "Uh-huh" and "Oh". But this... ar!!! It's wonderful!!! Love it!!! [Justin are you reading this !!!???]
Point 3:
Ken fell asleep!!! It was such a cute sight!!! (Yuck I can't believe I just said that!) Lol, anyway I just loved that "scene", Ken Tan falling asleep. (Damn, I should have taken a photo.) Haha, if you've realised, (like if you don't you're an idiot), all 3 points are directed to my 3 greatest haters out there, Ken, Alrick and Justin Mark. So, maybe they should do something about it? Oh, whatever, let them do what they want, like what am I supposed to say?
That's for now, but you bet a new chapter of my life-diary a.k.a autobiography (a very dirrrrrrty autobiography) will be revealed soon, so yeah, just watch out, ok?
Love ya! *Muacks* Buh-bye!!!
Jun Xiang bitched at 6th June, 2006, 22 23 hours.
Listened to music @ 10:07 PM
♥
"It is sterotypical for gay men to idolize Madonna." What! Hello! That is such a stupid statement to even mention!!! Like I totally LOVE Madonna, and there "sterotypical", er-hem that is so not a word to use, I'm proud to be a Madonna fan and I'll never regret listening to her music. Oh, speaking of Madonna, it brings back sweet memories...
On 2004, if you asked me who Madonna is, I would be like "... Who???", until my friend introduced me to er, Jessica Simpson? Ya, and I'm like "Yuck!", then slowly, I was introduced to rock bands, and in particular Green Day, I remembered how everyone said how great Green Day is. So I tried it, and I was deeply touched by Wake Me Up When September Ends, but I'm very sick of the rest of their songs, especially Boulevard of Broken Dreams, why? Because almost all of Green Day's songs sound the same, there is nothing unique, nothing special about them, oh and they seriously use vulgarities like alot... (Ok, so Liz Phair was using the F word in almsot of all of her songs, sings about cum, but she bothers to re-invent herself...). Then in Nov 2005, with the introduction of Hung Up, and Confessions On A Dancefloor (COADF), I was enticed by the sheer magic of Madonna's songs and personality.
From Like A Virgin in 1984 to COADF in 2005, 21 long years, Madonna has never let her fans down, and continue to "recurit" new fans throughout the years. In the 80s, with the fun-loving, apathetic Like A Virgin and True Blue, Madonna truly is an idol. But in 1989, with Like A Prayer, Madonna has showed the world what the true meaning of introducing your personal life into your songs really is. From the groovy Like A Prayer to the sassy Express Yourself to the touching Promise To Try, Madonna did it. Like A Prayer was her stepstone of the 80s. Then the 90s came and she flopped in 1992 with the release of Sex, a book featuring softcore erotic and pornographic actions and photos, Body Of Evidence, a flim featuring Madonna totally naked in sexual and erotic actions, and the album, Erotica, which features the single, the title track, which has erotic lyrics and an erotic video. But the later singles, which are also flops have less sexual meaning in them, like Bad Girl, Rain, Fever, another hit, Deeper and Deeper, which is a moderately succesful dance hit, until the lyrics were revealed to be a "reflection" of a homosexual man. To counter this sex controversy, Madonna released Bedtime Stories in 1994, a soft R&B-like album, to counter the bad sales of Eortica and to show a nice and soft side of Madonna, since Eortica has introduced sadism and machoism, etc. The singles, Secret, Take A Bow, Bedtime Story are like ok-ok, but still favourites among fans, one single, Human Nature, was to bite back at the critics, with lyrics such as "Did I say something wrong? Oops, I didn't that we couldn't talk about sex.", Human Nature left the critics a painful ass. In 1995, Madonna released Something To Remember, a compliation of Madonna's best ballads. In which at the same year, she starred as Evita Peron in the movie, Evita. In which at The Academy Awards in 1996, she performed You Must love Me, a beautiful song from the soundtrack of Evita. There, she took a break, giving birth to her daughter, Lourdes, and got into the religion of Kabbalah, and the results, Ray of Light released in 1998, when the first single Frozen was played in radio, fans were shocked. Frozen was wonderful and not like any of her previous singles, with techno sounds, far from what Green Day can do, Madonna has re-invented herself, evolving from an idol, to an icon. The collabraton with William Orbit to 1999 where Madonna recorded Beautiful Stranger for the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me soundtrack. However, in 2000, Madonna abandoned William Orbit for Marwais, some French DJ for her next album, Music, also in 2000 she was preggers with her 2nd child, her son, omg I forgot his name, and got together with Guy Ritchie, which they ended up married. Music was full of house music, enjoyable and danceable. A single of hers, What It Feels Like For A Girl, a personal favourite of mine, because the song related to my problems, its video, controversy, was directed by Guy Ritchie, the video is extremely violent, showing guns and stuff. Madonna defended the video saying "Male artists get away with it." And I sure agree, duh watch Enimem and 50 Cent's videos, they suck, have no meaning, violent, showing extreme sexism, I hate those idiots. Then in 2003, American Life, a serious but not like Like A Prayer or Ray of Light album, it created huge controversy because of its war theme. In the orignal video of American Life, at the last part, a grenade is shown being thrown on the lap of a George Bush look-alike. Finally in 2005, Madonna rose back from the flames, releasing COADF, with Hung Up reaching No.1 in 41 countries, and in the Billboard chart (some billboard chart, not sure which one exactly), Sorry, her 2nd single, was no.1 and hung Up at no.2, and this was the 1st time in history where a singer has two singles at the top 2 position in a billboard chart.
In all, Madonna rocks!
Listened to music @ 7:07 AM
