binaryface @bs.com

♥ Friday, March 30, 2007

I really don't get it.

Why can't my parents understand and realise that SYF is on the 12th April! It's like something big, urgent and important, and they expect me to treat it like nothing.

They're pratically cursing me for retaining and failing exams, just because of a few more weeks of more intense committment.

What's their problem?

What's my problem?

I don't know.

Today isn't a very good day.


Listened to music @ 10:46 PM

So I am...

Offically 15 now.

Oh well.

People are usually happy on their birthdays but somehow I don't feel an intense joy this year. I don't know why though.

Listened to music @ 9:58 PM

♥ Sunday, March 25, 2007

All right. Tell me if this actually seems logical.

I was doing my Comprehension and I decided to buy dinner. My brother came back (WHAT THE FUCK!) just when I wanted to leave. Yes, my mood went from =) to =(.

So I left my Compre stuff on the sofa and just left. When I returned, guess what? THEY WERE TORN. Like bloody hell. And you know what? He (It) tore my homework because he (it) couldn't find the remote control for the TV. Like what the fuck? Does it even seem logical? Like it's my homework, what the fuck does it have to do with not being able to find a remote control?

To make things worse, he (it) actually said "I don't care, whatever happens, too bad. Who told you to put your homework on the sofa? I don't care, the remote control MUST be on my sofa when I come back, if not you'll die."

Yay. What the fuck. He slapped me too, F.Y.I.

Now tell me, why is life always so messed up? I haven't been getting anything better since that day and such things are always getting thrown at me. Are all these obstacles a sign? That I should give up? I am really tired now. I don't really feel like fighting on anymore.

And who will actually listen to me for all these, who will be by my side, who will lend me his shoulder to cry on? Who... I know who he is, but it's all in the past. I really, really want to give up now. Just give up on everything.

What else can I do but to keep everything to myself. No one bothers to listen anyways.

I feel that my smile can't hide these scars in my heart any longer. Why am I still alive? For whom do i continue walking for? I don't know...

My birthday's this friday but somehow I have a bad feeling about it. Everything is falling apart and that person who used to heal me... please stop thinking about him.

I don't know what to tell Miss Tan tomorrow. Hopefully she will believe this absurd story. If she does not, like hey I don't mind her calling my Mum.

All I want now... is for my brother to fuck off to hell.

Listened to music @ 8:24 PM

♥ Thursday, March 22, 2007

Listened to music @ 8:40 PM

♥ Monday, March 19, 2007

Hello there.

As always, it has been a darn long time since I've blogged. Haha.

Oh well, guess what? The horoscopes were right! Things DO pan out towards the end of the month! I am feeling so much better and happier now.

Anyway, while searching for trumpets on youtube yesterday night, I came across the strangest exercise ever.

It's called the Pencil Exercise. I think it's more for brass players.

Well basically, it is to strengthen the muscles of your embrouche.

Firstly, you should do this after your daily exericse.

Now, all you need is a pencil, preferably those that are hexagon-shaped. Like those pencils that aren't round, but hexagon. Yeah.

Then, you put them into your mouth, using ONLY your lips to hold the pencil. Your teeth shouldn't have anything to do in this exercise. Do note that you shouldn't roll your lips all the way in until it's like at the teeth, nor do you jut them out. The pencil should be pararell to the ground, by the way.

Do that for 30 seconds, then flap your lips for another 30 seconds, followed by a 5 minute break. Repeat for 3 cycles.

Well after about 1 month, or maybe 3 months or around there. You should improve alot. And if you can hold the pencil for 4 minutes, then it's like good cos if you do, then it's the strength that you just need for your embrouche.

After that, if you would like, you can go a little more extreme. Like try thicker stuff, like mechnical pencils, or fountain pens. Not penises.


Listened to music @ 6:28 PM

♥ Friday, March 16, 2007

Well it has been a long time since I've blogged something. So... I still don't know what to say. I am not good in conveying what my heart feels into words...

Listened to music @ 6:51 PM

♥ Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Common Test's over and here are the summaries of the tests I had.

Comprehension - 22/50
Composition - 17/30
Total - 50.3333333333333/100

Higher Chinese
Total - 56/100

CT - 21/35

Combined Science - Physics and Chemistry
Physics - 10/50
Chemistry - 14.5/40

Combined Humanities - Social Studies and Literature
Social Studies - 6/25
Literature - 18/25
Total - 48/100

CT - 12.5/40

CT - 6/40

So I failed 4 subjects and passed 3. Oh well, I'll work harder for SA1! A beautiful fighter never gives up! Yay!

Anyway, sometimes I wonder... what I really feel sometimes.

In the past, I used to get jealous over every single little thing.

Now, something that seems so overwhelming and jealous-worthy doesn't affect me.

Have I matured?

Or am I just greatful towards the wonderful past 14 months I had? No point brooding over it and making that thing look so unpleasant right?

YEAH! Listening to songs of gratitude to love once possessed is good.

Yeah, one line that I'm listening to now...

I thank you for everything you gave me... Gosh how lovely.

I guess I'm expressing this short cos' I don't know how to describe it. It's just intense and weird.

Listened to music @ 9:35 PM