♥ Friday, October 17, 2008
I don't know why my mood fluctuates so greatlye today. It has been raining so heavily every afternoon...
A sudden impulse urged me to read my July archives in my blog. I started crying as I read the archives.
I always liked July, especially in this year, because so many memories were created in July. So many beautiful memories. Memories that are so precious.
I got so excited over the little things that happen, and felt so happy then. Even when you just talked to me, or something small and simple like that, I felt happy. It made my day. That was July.
Now? I don't even have a chance to see you. Even if I do, so what? You won't talk to me anymore. You hate me.
Where were the little things that made me happy? Where have they gone? Can I go to that place that they gone to, so that I can be happy again?
I want to go back in time, so badly.
I want to return to those times when we were...
Please...
I can only look back in hindsight now, and relieve the memories now. I'm really happy and grateful to have these memories.
If it's not okay with you, then let's not talk ever again. Let's not see each other again. It was supposed to be that, if someone is okay with you to see him tomorrow, and be with him, it means that this person is okay to have you in his life.
Not anymore.
The past, the past, the past.
I want to revisit them again.
I don't understand. What wrong have I done? I think I know. Am I right?
I sound so cynical, so upset, but there's an overflowing rush of feelings, the feeling of nostalgia, the feeling of happiness to have memories with someone, the feeling of loving someone.
There was more joy than sorrow in the days that I spent together with you. So... thank you.
I know no one will read the lyrics I post but, who cares. They are still for me to read, and cry over. No one will ever understand the meaning, the beauty, and the truth behind this song. No one will understand how I feel.
"How long
Have we spent time together?
How far
Have we advanced together?
The sparkling crystals
We have left behind
Are now shining proudly here
Though they may not be perfect
Honestly
I can't say
That it was all fun and joyful
But always, I wasn't alone
I want to show you a dream
I hope you will have
A never-ending and everlasting dream
This is my wish
I want to protect you
Whatever may happen
I'll go on protecting you
With all my might
Even now, I can say definitely
That I don't have a regret
We have always fought it out
With all our might
Honestly
I had some hard nights
And the days I felt unbearable
But always, I wasn't alone
I see your smile
So dear and dazzling
I'm living every day
To see your smile
I feel your love
Strong and warm
I'm feeling the selfless love
With all my senses
I want to show you a dream
I hope you will have
A never-ending and everlasting dream
This is my wish
I want to protect you
Whatever may happen
I'll go on protecting you
With all my might"
MY ALL - ayumi hamasaki
I always said this song is nice, this lyrics are beautiful. I only appreciated the true beauty of it all, when I experienced what the song experienced.
Listened to music @ 11:59 PM
