♥ Monday, September 22, 2008
"We took a step back
Yet another step back afterward
So as to not be hurt again"
Together When... - ayumi hamasaki
...
I'm surprised, that we both decided to face it the same way. When they started shouting those stuff today, I ignored them, you ignored them.
I just feel so...
Suddenly, the reason to why you should hate me became so crystal clear. It really is so clear. And I could see it.
I bring humiliation upon you, and so I should leave, so that we can all be happy. Maybe except for me, but that doesn't really matter, I guess.
Our precious memories from the past, how could I bear to forget them?
Maybe this would be the best way. I pretend not to know you, you pretend not to know me. When people shout their stupid comments, we appear as if it doesn't bother us, though whether it does or not for you, I don't know.
I'm really happy that the past had certain things happen, and it'll always be this way.
---
Heh, results for Prelim 2 were released today. What can I say, I'm really disappointed in some, yet kind of neutral with some.
A breakdown of my lousy results first. Oh yeah, laugh all you want, I couldn't be bothered.
English: 57.5/100 C5 (OMG BIGGEST disappointment EVER!)
Higher Chinese: 63/100 B4 (I honestly thought I would get lower!)
Elective Literature : 31/50 (and I would still need to add the marks for SS)
Well, Physics was released too, but the MCQ wasn't, so I can't calculate the marks either. And I need to wait for Chemistry too.
I don't feel exactly exuberant about my results... I think I did really badly. And I'm really pissed at myself for English. I mean, I only got 18/30 for my Compo and Situational Writing... like omg I really think I should have gotten more, ESPECIALLY for my Compo. And guess what? I'm the only freaktard in the class who hasn't gotten a comment written by the marker. Pissed, once more.
And all these happened before recess, so you can imagine how extra-pissed I was when that stupid drama happened during recess...
Tomorrow, I'll get back my results for everything else. I'm expecting to do badly for Geography and Social Studies. And to basically score an F9 for Chem, like how I did for Physics.
But I'm not going to stop now. 4 more weeks/28 more days! I have to do well in this, I have to fufill my promise in the summer.
Yeah, I'm not going to act like a victim, like other people, whom when gotten their shitty results, whine and behave like a bastard during class when the teacher's going through the paper. I'm not a victim; I created my shit results.
And so I'll create a 6 points too.
---
Because I was afraid of losing again; I ran away, and didn't dare to ask anymore questions, or to wonder anymore.
...
"Should I leave my body, or remain trapped inside it?
Should I pretend I can see it, or is it just not there anyway?
Should I fight, or raise the white flag?
I'm not going to run away like a victim"
Mirrorcle World - ayumi hamasaki
Oh my God, I want it now! I want the DVD for Ayu's ASIA TOUR 2008 ~10th Anniversary~ to be out, like now! I'm so hyped up to buy and watch this, like seriously!
Listened to music @ 8:14 PM
