♥ Saturday, August 30, 2008
"The season I was with you was the most dazzling one
Everything we saw was full of brilliance
Since when did we come to want too much?
Though it should just be enough that we were close"
It was - ayumi hamasaki
---
History doesn't lie, and because of that, we know that the past was all true and real. That's the feeling that I have now.
For how long more do I need to carry this painful feeling in my heart? Recently, I have found that I couldn't cry anymore... something like your tears have totally dried up or something.
Maybe it's because I couldn't be sad anymore, maybe it's because something is gone. I don't know.
I can't cry anymore. Somehow, it feels like the sky is crying for me. It's raining almost every day... and my heart sinks every time it rains. I still remember that time on the Higher Chinese paper when he walked past and suddenly the rain stopped...
Whatever it is, though I couldn't cry anymore... my heart is bleeding. Whenever I sense something that reminds me of the past... I get sad. It's like my memories with him are like some vault, where there's a lot of stuff inside... and sometimes the slightest thing can remind me of the memories... it feels nostalgic and sad.
Everything that happened was so beautiful that it's sad. Yeah, sad because it's beautiful. I feel like I can cry while reminiscing my days with him, but I can't cry. The sky does that for me instead.
Oh well.
I read my chat log with him yesterday night and... it brought back so much memories...
I want to touch him, but I can't. I want to appear in sight of him, but I shouldn't. I know all that but I can't stop the longing and morose in my heart...
Allow me to reminisce everything while I continue to pretend in front of everyone else.
Tell me your feelings... you can even shout. But only if you would want to in the first place...
---
"I wonder if I'm so stupid
Just waiting for the time passage
Believing that I'll surely be forgiven someday"
momentum - ayumi hamasaki
Listened to music @ 8:33 PM
