♥ Saturday, July 12, 2008
"I'll protect your forever; I'll think of you. Even if time may change everything, I'll still think of you."
part of Me - ayumi hamasaki
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Today was such a beautiful day for me! The day started beautifully, and ended beautifully too.
Because of you, I could always see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know why but I'm starting to cry now, because I just thought of you.
I thought of how everything started, all the way back in band camp last year... and how it went on until now, and it shows no sign of stopping.
I thought of all the good and happy times I had with you... and how carefree I felt, chasing those beautiful dreams in those endless days... I thought of how pampered I felt at those times, when you were so nice to me...
I thought of all the unhappy moments... and how heartbroken I felt whenever you do something bad. I felt upset when you ignored me, I felt depressed when you said certain things, I felt suicidal when you did that thing on that particular Friday a few months ago... I just thought of how afraid and vulnerable I was at those times...
Right now, I don't know where I stand. I don't know how important am I to you. I don't know how you feel about these few months. I don't know how I am seen in your eyes... I honestly don't know a lot of things.
But I do know that you have always been in my heart. I know that I love you. I know that I miss you. I know that I always want to protect you. I know that I want to help you. I know that I want to do things for you. I know that I want to stay by your side. I know that I wish you would treat me well and like a friend...
You see? Today, a lot of happy things happened, and I wondered just how much I've been through to savor this happy day. One whole week of pain and heart aches? I suppose so.
The thing is, nothing has been smooth-sailing and the days with you weren't always joyful, but I've never regretted a single thing.
I am just glad to be able to say a lot of things to you and to do a lot of things with you.
We had so much fun during main band today. Especially during Sway and Rolling Thunder! ... Yes X marks the spot to PINCH! Haha!
And I'll MAKE SURE I'll buy FHM and let you read next Saturday and corrupt your horny mind. And um to 'derouse' you with my sick t-shirt today! Hahaha!
We had so much fun... really. I wonder if you feel the same way too.
Ah, I can't say anything else. I really can't find the words to.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
I'll try not to get upset the next time you ignore me when you are with your friends, because I understand that it's just very embarrassing and awkward. I'll work hard!
=)
Maybe I have really finally tasted love.
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"Even now, I can say definitely that I don't have a regret."
MY ALL - ayumi hamasaki
Listened to music @ 10:30 PM
