♥ Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Sigh.
Everything's so confusing and frightening these days.
But before I even mention anything about what's important today, let's talk about other stuff first.
I'm really tired these days... came home from alumni at 11pm yesterday night and slept one hour later. Today, I stayed back in school all the way until 5pm for GEP. Tomorrow is going to be alumni again and Thursday I think there's GEP. Wait, there's GEP every single day anyways...
I just wish July would end soon, so that all the competitions would end and that I can finally take a break and study at the same time.
And I really hate the new cashless system in the canteen. That's it. I'm not going to eat anything for recess anymore (that I actually have any appetite) and I'll eat lunch at the Primary school canteen (which so conveniently happens to be over-priced)... I really hate new systems and having to adapt to them.
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It has been a long time since you've said, "Hi" to me.
It has been a long time since you've smiled to me.
Maybe I've once again reached that stage of dispensable to you.
Maybe I'm thinking too much again.
Seeing you talking so happily with my peers... I feel upset. Am I jealous? I suppose so. Jealous of how they can talk to you while I can't.
Seeing how useless I am because I couldn't help you in anything at all... I feel depressed. I don't know what I want by saying that. Do I want you to tell me that you need me or anything? But I'm a realist to a certain extent, and I'm so certain that you will never ever say that, it's not even funny.
Where do I stand in your heart?
How am I seen in your eyes?
How am I heard in your ears?
Do you think it would help if you tell me the truth? I don't know what truth is actually. I really don't know.
But for now, I can only be so selfish and look at you from somewhere far away. I wish to be able to do something for you but honestly I don't know what I can do when I am so... stupid and useless.
Maybe the only thing I can do is to silently wish and pray for your well-being.
"The first kiss, various events... sometimes I become so possessive"
Listened to music @ 7:33 PM
