♥ Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I came home yesterday at 10 30pm and my mother asked me what I'm planning to do for O' Levels.
Well, I don't really know myself actually. July is just such a busy month with competitions and what have you... I'm definitely coming home at about 10 30pm on Mondays and Wednesdays in July...
Alumni practice yesterday was well interesting. I was late, which is something rare, I mean I'm not a late person... just that I thought alumni started at 7 30pm but it started at 7 00pm. Oops. Anyway, I finally got to see (and hear) Loo Kit, and he looks super familiar. I feel like I've seen him somewhere before but I just can't remember anything right now.
Anyway, sitting next to Loo Kit during full band was like some gift from God. I mean his tone is super beautiful and it sounds so full and warm! That's definitely some tone that I would love to produce! =p
I got a little discouraged during certain parts of the practice (as always)... but somehow yesterday was different. I just thought that I should practice even more since there were so many parts that I'm not very familiar with yet.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Loo Kit was a really nice person too, like he followed me to the dark and creepy cupboards to take scores. Well I mean I really needed light anyway. I just love people who are pro and nice at the same time.
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Back at school...
Oh my God. Just what the hell is wrong with the school's management.
First day at school and I get the stupid news that the canteen is going 'cashless' from next week onwards. Which means that everyone is forced to buy a cash card in order to make purchases from the canteen, otherwise you would need to get coupons. Like utter crap. I mean oh gosh so now Maris Stella is going to be 'upgraded' into a high-class school by using cashless payments? Yah right.
Second day at school, which is today, was WORSE. I was told my hair is 'long' and 'touching the ears' and I needed to head to the amateur barber waiting to chop my 'long' hair off in the Shaw Hall. As I made way to the hall, people were like saying that I still 'have a slope' and were like omg-ing at this atrocity of the school.
What was worse was that I needed to pay $5 to the barber to get my hair cut in a horrendous manner. And at the hall, more than half of the people there had totally ACCEPTABLE hair lah. I mean I saw bald people there? And I saw Saw too like wtf I think his hair is shorter than mine? What's wrong with the teachers man.
Anyway, I ended up wasting $5 as the barber amateurishly cut my hair. I mean omg lor when he finished cutting, he only switched the hairdryer on for like one second? How to blow away all the hair bits? And like the style he cut was SO WRONG... I look like some idiot and now I need to waste another $10 to get my hair done PROPERLY at a saloon.
I mean the barber is a nice person but his skills are...
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Afterthoughts...
Everyone, even myself know that this is wrong. I know this is wrong too. I know that he'll never like me in that way, I really do. Please, I beg everyone to stop telling me how wrong it is; I know it very well too.
But I can't stop.
I am falling deeper and deeper in love with him every day. As each day passes, I am falling deeper into this bottomless pit. I can't stop it.
Like today, I just saw him during recess and then I start missing him after recess already. I want so badly to see his dazzling smile... and everything else about him.
The joy that he gives me when I am with him; the euphoria that he gives me when he treats me so nicely... they own every other happiness that I have felt. I'm serious.
When I handed him the multipurpose court key on Saturday and saw his delighted face... I felt so happy that he is happy too. I want to do things for him, so that he can be happy.
I understand that he doesn't want his friends and my friends that he will acknowledge me or something... I know that. It's like some secret thing and I would gladly keep this secret as a secret.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
I see your smile, so dear and dazzling... I'm living every day to see the smile; that is the purpose of my life.
I love you... more and more.
I love you.
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"If I give up now, it would be rude to the tears that I've shed at those times, wouldn't it?"
Listened to music @ 3:16 PM
