♥ Thursday, April 03, 2008
He told me today, "Are you ashamed of yourself? Your whole section doesn't respect you."
But only because I was asking Hui Xiong if he's ashamed of himself for making his sectionals to slacktionals.
Yes, I am in the wrong.
I always will be, and what's more, he's right.
My section doesn't respect me. That's a fact I sort of knew since last year. All these while, I've been avoiding this "problem"... trying my best... which is all in vain. Well, it's just 12 more days and I'll be emancipated. I think... my section will overally improve a lot and be a lot happier too. I just know they would be.
The truth is, almost everyone (almost?!) will be happier without me. I can't believe myself what a burden I am. Sometimes I wonder what good I am...
I gossip. I bitch. I hate. I got my JUST DESERTS.
Oh, I finally got back my lyrics for Together Apart... already! I copied it into my exercise book so I can finally post it here for myself to read!
You looked at me with a reassuring smile
In that instant I felt a certain warmth
Growing surely and slowly in my heart
But I only knew later that
Your smile was for the person behind me
We crossed each other's paths on that faithful day
We walked together but we didn't know each other
There was a loud noise as if a mirror
Had just shattered but it was
Just my heart breaking under the silence
In a way, I think
I must be somewhat happy
To be next to you
But still...
(*)I wanted to embrace you
But I couldn't bring myself to
I wanted to escape to
Somewhere with you
But that was only my delusion
Our final good-bye was too sad
And I couldn't control my tears
I'm sorry for being so useless
(**)If I could be reborn as someone else
I would surely start a journey
To seek for you again...
We met and exchanged a few empty words
And then the silence took over with each day
I finally understood when you were
Laughing with them that I
Was only a mere stranger in your eyes
We walked away from each other with that scar
On our hearts on that day. The seasons passed by
And I was crying alone by myself on
The winter nights suffering
The worst pain in my broken and weak heart
In a way, I think
You must be very happy
To be far away
From me...
(***)I wanted to leave you but
I couldn't take that first big step
I wanted to return to
Those days but fate
Seems to be telling me otherwise
Our final good-bye was too sad
But I still remembered your smile
Thank you for being yourself
Repeat (**)
Repeat (*)
Repeat (***)
Everyone walks to find someone else
I must have walked on to find you
To be with you again...
- Together Apart...
Program Notes:
Mark, when I stood next to you, I felt that I was so happy and sad. You spoke to everyone... but me. Why am I so stupid and useless? I am such a burden... I am so useless... I can't do anything... I hate myself... I wish to do something for you but... I suck so much... If I could have a wish, I wish that you'd treat me with that warmth you show to everyone else...
We are together, yet apart...
Raymond Gan finds the first stanza very funny... really meh?
Ah, my life is a mess now. Nothing else.
Listened to music @ 10:34 PM
