Do you remember the first day we met even now?
You looked abashed, hanging your head
And turning your eyes away

I wonder when such a manner became so dear to me
It makes me feel a little nostalgic
Don't you feel so?

Many seasons have passed by
With quick steps since then

(*) When the white snow colors the city
Let me stay by your side
Though I may bother you
Again and again

We talked overnight about our future and the moments
I felt they were so dazzling
And precious

Tears welled up in my eyes
When I thought it would be nice
That I could forgive my past some day

(**) When the white snow melts
And the city becomes vivid and colorful
I like to keep you closest
To my heart

The days we couldn't understand each other and parted
The days of tears, the days of smiling faces
Whatever may happen and whatever mood you may be in
I'll always accept you

(*) repeat
(**) repeat

CAROLS - ayumi hamasaki

The bolded parts of the song hold the most truth to me... I think, I have to stop seeing you, to be happy, so that we can both be happy.

Because I can't do anything useful for you, I can only disappear and be non-existent in your life, to do something useful...

I suck, really.

You see? I finally understand your words.