♥ Sunday, April 27, 2008
I have fit snuggly into my new perception of thinking positively and what not and... I really can't be bored... if not my mind will just wander and I'll think of stupid things, I think.
You know, I was just wondering today... what if whatever theories and happy guidelines I've made for myself were all... false?
Like I'm really afraid that I've been deluding myself all these while and... that the truth is always so obviously in front of me just that I've been lying to myself and trying to make myself happy... when things are just never happy...
I'm so afraid and so terrified of such things; I guess at the end of the day, I'll never feel safe until he reassures me himself.
"but until that Day..., I'll..."
And then I'd always think of that. Well what's the answer to that? I told myself, "Well, until that Day... I'll just think positively and be happy!'
And then I'm scared again that I'll know the truth in some other ways before that day comes.
I'm just really afraid.
Please, tell me now, reassure me now.
"I'm still here and have been searching as before for a place I can fit in. I heartily wish this feeling could reach you at least. I want nothing else."
Secret - ayumi hamasaki
Listened to music @ 9:31 PM
