♥ Saturday, April 26, 2008
I don't understand why I find it so hard to keep my promises.
I promised to be passive, I promised not to be so affected by him.
Yesterday... I felt a lot of times when my heart sank because of him.
I mean that is wrong... because I'm sounding like it's his fault when he has done nothing and everything stemmed from my thinkings.
I don't want people to be bad to him, I don't want people to dislike him. Therefore, I have to refrain myself.
During Sports Day yesterday, as I mentioned, there were a few times when I got very upset. When we went back to school, I remembered I was still being very emo and unhappy. Well, Justin Yap and Chang Jun were giving out gifts to the teachers and everyone was laughing and cheering, and I was the only one who had that black face. Maybe Xing Hao too.
Then I just thought.
What for?
I don't need to feel unhappy over minute things as such, I don't need to make myself depressed for reasons that are inexistent.
I have a choice. I can choose to be happy and well perhaps pretend to be all right to a certain extent, or just be sad and repel everyone.
Yes, if being happy can attract you to speak to me, I really wouldn't mind doing that.
but until that Day..., I guess I'll just be happy for myself at the very least.
Went for lunch with Gabriel Kang, Justin Louis Onggo, Clement Pak and Ray Er after school. Before I left the school, I remembered looking at him playing soccer before I realized that it's going to be another month or so before I can see him again.
At least in real life, that is.
Anyway, eating with the afforementioned people was a fun experience, it's something very different every time when I eat with different bunch of people.
People are so amazing sometimes, aren't they?
...
My love is growing more surely and bigger with each day, I hope this month that I won't get to see him will make things better...
Listened to music @ 10:05 PM
