♥ Friday, March 07, 2008
Hi, this post will be sad one.
I feel like I'm dying... it's so horrible that I shudder when I have to smile for the sake of smiling...
Oh well, there has to be someone out there who is worse than me... So, in a way, maybe I shouldn't have to feel such despair but still...
the power of APPEARANCE and REALITY. If you believe I'm displaying this... then perhaps you have seen what's under everyone's smiles... but of course I'm just going to stay misunderstood to so many other people.
And. I write to save myself. Not to let other people read them (if you have noticed, I have stopped posting any lyrics that I've written on my blog anymore...). So, don't you think it's so freaking rude that you just take the book that I write lyrics on when I was away in another class. And really that's big shit but I guess it's okay. But you still had to write your own stuff in it? I'm not saying that your lyrics suck because they rhyme and it's really cute actually... but what the hell? It is MY BOOK after all. You just took it without permission and wrote songs with explicit titles and suggestive lyrics! I'm okay with that but not with them on MY BOOK!
And. Don't snatch my book away from me like that. If you want to read it, just ask? And the worst thing was I wrote people's names on some songs and you just let the person read it? And the worst thing is you let that person read something that I DIDN'T WRITE?! (it was the one that my classmates wrote... they wrote two.) WHAT THE HELL. I am like misunderstood by him now?
would I ever name a song
"fuck ****"???
Use your brains. I'm not that fucking explicit. I'm really unhappy but at least you redeemed yourself with something else. And to those people who read my book while I was away and wrote your own thing in it... I'm really pissed.
And I've not forgiven that SLUT yet. I'm still pissed.
Yes, I am laughing now am I? Haha. But I'm really not laughing. That goes the same to me outside too.
I am laughing and smiling because it is polite. And I hate people labeling me as 'emo'. Honestly... check the meaning of an emo?
I'm just upset and all over in place with my emotions... It's so f***ed up...
Your gaze is so very tender as you stare at me
Over there, on that little flimsy chair
With a gentle, happy face
She agreed, smiling
While some kind of a loud noise was building in my mind
It was as though it was collapsing
Unable to move, I just kept standing there
"Why isn't it me?" I asked.
But it's not some kind of a foolish example
You were there as I had never seen you before
As I can only, only feel from far far away
How on earth can I express this emotion?
From time to time, the sorrow in your eyes
Would show me the reason, so...
That which can be given to you ---
I can't give it; no one can
Is it only that one person who is so understanding that can?
When do you first miss her?
About that time, I realized the truth.
I saw through the lies, and even if I pretended that they were the truth
It's just, just so excessively empty
This feeling... is it known as 'love'?
"Why isn't it me?" I asked.
But it's not some kind of a foolish example
You were there as I had never seen you before
Did you feel it from far away?
When do you first miss her?
About that time, I realized the truth.
I saw through the lies, and even if I pretended that they were the truth
It's just, just so excessively empty
This feeling is certainly known as 'love', isn't it?
is this LOVE? - ayumi hamasaki
This is what Ayu said about 'is this LOVE?' during her ARENA TOUR 2006 -(miss)understood-...
(as quoted from Ayu...):
On the other hand, "is this LOVE?" illustrates how, when in front of the person she likes, she finds that, actually, she cannot be honest at all. Often, she finds that she says things which she doesn't mean, trying to act like a tough girl.
I feel like that now. Sigh.
Listened to music @ 10:14 PM
