♥ Thursday, February 21, 2008
Hi, this is an insight for the past week.
On Wednesday we had a dialogue session with the VP. Well, ours was actually supposed to be on the 4th Mar but due to some unforseen and spontaneous circumstances, another session was brought upon on Wednesday.
Well, so we discussed about what holds the class back from studying and certain pacts we made with the VP. Personally, I felt kind of elated when majority of the class wanted a 10 for L1R5... I think there's hope! Haha.
Next, I'm going to find Mr. Ng on Monday and request to give up (note: it's not drop!) A-Maths... it's really a pain to do it and I really can't handle it. I'm not going to risk anything for now... Just playing safe would be good enough I think.
Anyway, many thoughts have been going through my mind now... strangely, they have nothing to do with love lol. I'm just thinking how sad it is that you know when maybe 2 people know each other but after something like a graduation, they never contacted each other ever again? Like, sometimes I wish that I could be in contact with people like my primary school classmates... but I don't know, there's always something holding me back... like questions such as "How do I continue this relationship with this person?" Feelings are hard to predict and maybe I'm still an immature child who is not ready to face the world yet.
Another thing... about making decisions... yes I made many decisions in this year... and are they all right? I don't know, I really don't know. Fear, guilt... they all linger in me time to time, memories surfacing sometimes, as though reminding me that I did such a thing, and made such a decision... I'm confused.
"Choosing only the things that you like isn't being irresponsible.
If you can't find anything that you like, then why accept the responsibility?
I take only the possibilities that I'm ready to accept."
SURREAL - Ayumi Hamasaki
Don't you find this stanza so true? ... Decisions, dilemmas, paths that we choose. I'm sick of choosing a path that I think is correct and thinking twice when I've embarked on my decision. Is it right to hold back? Is it okay to have regrets? ... I'm confused, again.
Everyone is convinced
That the 'thing' they're searching for
Is in the future
But how many people have realized
That 'it' is actually in the past?
I can't even guess
I saw the end of an era
With my own eyes
But I didn't want to know
That it's my turn next
If, after simplifying it a bit more
You think that 'it'
Merely connects and arranges memories,
Then wouldn't everyone
Already have 'it'?
I want you to realize that.
I saw the end of an era
With my own eyes
And in truth, I actually
Do know that it's my turn next
You'll find me, won't you?
I'm betting that you'll find me.
I saw the end of an era
With my own eyes
But I didn't want to know
That it's my turn next
Duty - Ayumi Hamasaki
How true once again... maybe after reading this post, you'll be confused. Maybe after reading this post, you'll know me more. Maybe... after reading this post, you would think that I am bullshitting. Whatever it is, please understand, it's not my aim for you to understand me through this post/blog... because this blog is me and I am this blog, therefore, these posts are merely reflections of myself... So, please, read these lyrics/quotations! I think they're really deep and I'm going to analyze 'Duty' in my next post... it's very deep and beautiful! Haha the wonders of Literature!
Listened to music @ 9:46 PM
