♥ Friday, February 01, 2008
The last few days of January leading into February was bad. Wait, I mean it was very bad; horrible.
Remember that previous post of mine. I'm afraid to 'announce' that this is not the end of it, meaning there are more implications.
Well, it's not the MacDonalds thing, and it's not the acids killing people.
It's about Miss Jazliah.
I'm sure everyone in the class witnessed the extreme change in her mood and attitude today when she came in for lesson.
You can tell it, in her voice, in her body posture, in her words, and most importantly, in her eyes.
I don't know if she's going to request to stop teaching because of this, but still, I said it already. If Miss Jazliah is not going to teach this 4I for Chem, that means the best Chem teachers - Miss Aida and Jazilah will NOT be in our class. Therefore I'd get certain Chem teacher whom I absolutely detest. So, I will appeal to change classes. At least during Chem.
I hope she doesn't lose hope in teaching just because of us. It's not worth it, it just isn't. It will never be. NEVER EVER.
And, for those who're interested. The former HOD of Science, Miss Goh, is going on some course so she'll be away. Guess who was appointed to stand in for HOD for this period of time. Yes, it's our dearest Miss Jazliah.
This was like a few days ago only? And Then now there's this acid scandal, which'll seriously affect her. People are gonna question her authority... "This was the teacher we appointed to stand in for Ms. Goh? LOL OMG!!!"
It's gross if others think that way. Because we all know it's not Miss Jazliah's fault. IT'S OUR FAULT. People are still complaining that she was 'throwing tantrums' or whatsoever during lessons. WHATEVER.
Please grow up already, please LEARN how to put yourselves into other's shoes for once, for the love of God. Please just stop being so immature.
Miss Tan said today, "I'm trying not to let you people affect me."
It's inhumane. It's cold. It's without compassion. But we all know Miss Tan had to do it to protect herself.
As what Miss Jazliah said today, "Maybe if I didn't bother you people so much, maybe if I didn't bother to waste my time thinking of remedial for you people, I would be just angry over this incident. I'm more disappointed than angry, you know?"
Perhaps, if we don't all of us into something, we wouldn't be so hurt.
I feel so GUILTY for dragging Miss Jazliah down like that. It just sucks.
The next thing.
It was decided that the sec4s wouldn't go for Alumni and thus not play for NBC after the April concert. Yes, it was our decision to study for O' Levels.
But.
We were so selfish and irresponsible.
You see? We waited for Nicholas Tan to be present before we dared to tell Mr. Chiang about this. And whenever we want to tell Mr. Chiang, Nicholas Tan isn't there. So we have never told Mr. Chiang about this matter.
Fredy called me just now. He knows about this matter, somehow. And he's not happy. He's not selfish; he's not pissed cos we're not playing for NBC, he's pissed cos we didn't tell anyone.
"Next time can you just your brain?" - paraphrased from Fredy over the phone.
Perhaps people reading this blog (like who would) now would prolly think that Fredy was so evil and harsh. But, I think he's right.
I don't understand why we didn't dare to tell, like we're committing a crime, why we need Nicholas Tan to be present.
Sometimes I feel so immature and timid that I'm afraid to face this world in the future. I really am.
And I'm feeling equally GUILTY about this matter as to Miss Jazilah's case.
So, to express my feelings even better... another song.
However far I escape, I can't have a clean escape
How far does my past chase after me?
I wonder if my pass will catch up with
And pass me before long
Forgive me that I don't tell this to you
Please don't ask me anymore
Leave me this way now
And let me make an obvious excuse
Please don't smile
Hiding your distant mind behind your eyes
You already know that, don't you?
Please don't say anymore
Leave me just a bit more
And let me tell a sweet lie
- 'GUILTY', Ayumi Hamasaki
Listened to music @ 9:12 PM
