♥ Tuesday, January 08, 2008
You must be wondering why I am blogging now, when I shouldn't even be using the com. But the thing is... I've received a shocking news while I was flipping through the papers when I came back from the school... I'm in total shock now but still I was inspired... inspired by the strength of this extraordinary woman.
I've known this singer for about one year only but I am certain that she is my favorite singer, my favorite entertainer... my inspiration.
I remember I was watching this music video (MV) of a singer (whom I've totally forgotten who...) and while reading the comments left by other viewers, many compared said singer to another singer... calling her a copycat etc. Recalling that Fredy is a fan of this singer, I asked him about her. Naturally, I was introduced to her. While watching and hearing my very first song from her, ourselves, I was instantly impressed by the abstract and beauty of the MV and the vocals, lyrics and style of the song. I was then sent links of more MVs from this singer... and I was hooked.
That was in late 2006.
After that, a few weeks after the release of her album, Secret, I finally bought album. I enjoyed all the songs in the album and was touched by the lyrics. The MVs of certain songs made me smile too. I knew it at that time - this singer will be and is going to be my idol. Indeed she will be.
Till now, I only have A BALLADS, MY STORY, (miss)understood, Secret, A BEST 2 ~Black~ and A BEST 2 ~White~. In all honestly, this 'collection' of mine is really NOTHING compared to many other fans around the world. Fredy, for one, has almost all her singles and all her albums. I still feel a little ashamed listening to songs from her that were downloaded...
From there, I moved onto her live performances, her concerts and her countdown lives. To be honest, her concerts are the best I've ever seen, and it's on par with Madonna's concerts, if not better. Everything just seems to flow... I love how the concert is everlasting while it was lasting. Her costumes were breath-taking, her vocals were wondrous... it was as if everything was perfect.
But now, this news... that this singer is officially deaf on her left ear after visiting a doctor last year... I'm left speechless. But remembering her words in her message... "From here on, I'm going to keep running forward like this~~~!" Yes, we will run together; all your fans and the ones who truly love you... TOGETHER! Hahaha!
This greatest singer and performer... Ayumi Hamasaki.
Yes, Ayu, you are not upset over your problem, so why should we? We will show you that smile, so that you will have that smile too. You wish us to have that everlasting dream... we wish that you will have it too. Kudos to you for deciding to continue performing... until your right ear fails you too... I am touched but I shan't cry. Because although crying isn't a sign of weakness, but I know you would want me, all of us, to laugh with you. So we shall laugh. Haha.
2007 hasn't been a good year for both of us. The death of your bestest friend, the break-up with Tomoya, it was painful. The pain of the absence of a close friend and someone you love... I understand how that feels. But do you know that during those months of depression I had in 2007, it was your lyrics that pulled me through? Being sad, but not knowing why... I didn't like that feeling. But your lyrics helped to convert these feelings of mine into words, into music, into something I comprehend. Because of you, I survived.
I remember smiling and laughing to the fond memories as I listen to songs like HONEY and BLUE BIRD. I remember crying and feeling cold while listening to CAROLS, HANABI and many many many more... I remembering crying AND smiling to songs like Who... & Together When...
With these tears and smile, it was as if I was taught life's most important lessons...
Ayu, I learned the true meaning of love, the thing we all want, something that we can't really find but we know it's there... I learned many things; I learned to be strong... your lyrics taught me that.
Even if I shall fail the audition on the 16th January, I won't give up. Because I remember from until that Day...,
"If I give up now, I'd be rude to the tears I've shed before, isn't it?"
Yes, I will respect those tears... I won't give up; I won't feel sad, because I can always work harder!
Remember that line from WE WISH?
"We are useless unless we accept ourselves."
Perhaps that's what you're trying to show us; accept ourselves... Accepting that your left ear has gone deaf, it's a very courageous thing to do, isn't it? Moreover, my failure will just be a minor one; a stepping stone for myself to get stronger. I must be strong and accept myself... and then I'll be better.
Just like that I've read from your lyrics to know that you've changed from a cynical 20 year old woman who does not believe in love from your A Song For XX days to a mature woman who does believe in love now... ever since your RAINBOW days... I believe I've changed. Perhaps it was a bad thing... but it's not too late to reverse it, is it not?
Because of your faith, I have faith in myself too... 2007 was a bad year indeed... but 2008 will be better; because we accept ourselves.
Ayu, to your 10th Anniversary, TOGETHER~~~!!!!
So, we will be smiley... facing the sky.
I am proud to know this singer, I am proud to know Ayu. I am proud to be myself.
Once again, as you wrote in AUDIENCE...
"If one of you yells 'YES!' then I'll get in line and yell 'YES!' as well."
Since you initiated the YES!, we'll get in line with you and yell YES! too! Hahaha.
Yes, Ayu, GANBARU~!
We will take that big step... for TOMORROW!
Disclaimer: I am not the greatest fan of Ayu but I know for certain to myself that I posted this post as a reflection of my thoughts towards Ayu and my reaction towards her news. No one reads this blog anyways, so it's definitely okay.
Ayu~...
Listened to music @ 9:02 PM
