♥ Thursday, January 17, 2008
Yesterday was the initially much dreaded auditions. I remembering sleeping very late the night before, as my mind projected different scenarios of passing or failing the audition.
The day went by surprisingly fast... it was as though it was some cool effect that my brain is doing.
Finally, it was band. Time crawled as slow as a snail during band! My section was the very last one to go for the audition, so the waiting time is just omg. Of course, I spent MOST of my time going through the scales and practicing my choice piece, though there were times where I did other (stupid) things.
Blah blah blah, five hours had passed. My turn was coming. I remembered Cleon telling me that I don't have to be nervous and afraid of the audition and Nicholas Tan said Fredy was freaking friendly towards the Sec4s! So it was a relief... my shortest relief in my life so far. While reading through the clarinettists' comments sheet and them relating the audition... my heart started to beat fast again. Maybe it wasn't that friendly after all?
In any case, my turn just came. It was quite sudden but heck it. I remembered my two strategies for the audition.
1) Don't look at the judges. Especially Fredy.
2) Play the scales VERY slowly.
I did 1) but I didn't 2). Omg what was going through my mind when I rushed through the scales.
"What's the next note?.... SHIT! I forgot!"
Also, I screwed up the scales big time with my stupidity. Yes I transposed MY dearest A sharp (or was it A flat) Major Scale to the CONCERT and I played the CONCERT key one. OMG! Felt like slapping myself when I realized that.
Another stupid thing was I totally forgot to breathe correctly and using my diaphragm (aren't those supposed to be an instinct?)... Stupid...
On the choice piece, Pirates (oh please that certainly isn't a cheapskate song, for all you who think so)... I screwed up in the high notes and yah... overdid a lot of things that Leslie was telling me the day before.
But, surprisingly, Fredy didn't say that my bar 56 was wrong! Perhaps it was but he didn't say it. So it'll be in the comment sheet (which I presume to be uber long) on Saturday.
Then the omg thing happened at the end when Fredy gave that concluding statement.
"Overall, bad rhythm, bad articulation, (did he say bad intonation as well? can't remember). But your tone, can hear something out of it."
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I don't know this is the how many times Fredy had said something positive about me... though it's certain it's less than five.
That was how it ended.
Obviously, I failed, needless to say. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT... to myself, I did better than what I would expect. I expected myself to get stuck at playing and all that... but I didn't. Half a thumb up for myself! =D If there's going to be a re-audition, I'm gonna add a third strategy.
3) Do not be afraid! The judges are not beasts!
That's right! Haha.
And oh oh I read the comments that Chien Teng wrote and I wondered why he and Fredy (Mr. Chiang) hear us playing and write comments at the same time... extraordinary. The exercises on the top was not new to me but it's certain I'll actually DO them this time round... *BIG slaps to Cleon for calling the exercises "useless"*
Someday before I pass out, I'll be able to blend with Wang Liang and Yang Chin and Bernard and Thomas Ang and Terence and the various chinamen.
So that's about it for the dreaded audition day. I mean the initially dreaded audition day. I'll know what to do next time (but please don't scare me with the scales... I got freaked out when I heard C double flat and double octaves!)!!!
I think band has actually made me realize the essence of working hard. "Little by little" seems to apply the best in band when one cannot expect to be a pro overnight. It might be late but it's better than never (for me). Someday...
By the way, motto for 2008: Leave *insert person's name* alone, but don't leave him/her/it alone.
"If I throw it out and turn back, it's rude to the tears I've shed at that time, isn't it?"
- until that Day..., Ayumi Hamasaki
Listened to music @ 8:03 PM
