♥ Monday, October 29, 2007
I wanted to do a 'Why I Love Pink' post today but something happened and I just lost all happiness and mood to do it.
I don't understand my family at all. Many a time, I feel as though I really wasn't the biological child of my parents; perhaps they picked me up at some garbage or something, because... I really don't know them, even though it's been fifteen years...
Anyway, my sister is bawling now and my parents are quarreling. Although I am a bitch, I don't understand why I feel sad when other people are yelling/crying. I'm weird and different from everyone else, in particular my family, after all.
And I've been feeling so emo-ish the past few days, and I don't even know why. Memories of the past came flowing like some waterfall and suddenly the air around me just feels so cold. Why?
It sucks even more when I clearly understand and know that what I am trying to forget and put away isn't a nightmare, it isn't a bad memory, but easily the best thing that has happened to me, ever. It is ironic, on how I feel more obliged to put away the good memories, rather than the bad ones.
Anyway, consider this quote, "Which hurts more? Saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"
To be honest, I've encountered situations of both scenarios. The reason why I'm suffering in loneliness and sub-zero temperature now is because I said a lot of things, only to wish that I hadn't say them at all. Regret always knocks on the door at the wrong times, apparently.
But of course, there are so many times as well when I just want to yell at someone to get off and stop touching me, but I didn't.
Once again, it's so freaking ironic and I'm feeling sadder that I yell at people whom I shouldn't yell at, yet I don't at people whom I should.
You see, I ought to hate myself.
I can't adapt to changes well, I don't appreciate what I have (had), I only show that dumb emo face when I regret it.
I just... hate myself, with a passion.
好想你 不停止
好想你 我愛你
那包容 那激動
都是我
被愛的光榮
因爲你，我了解什麽是愛，並且學會包容，學會了做人的道理，雖然因為我的幼稚，使你離開了我，但是我仍然期待著你能原諒我的那一天。即使那天不會來臨，至少。。。我擁有過快樂，擁有過溫暖。。。
現在，我只想對你說：謝謝。
It feels easier to write in Chinese sometimes...
Listened to music @ 9:40 PM
