♥ Thursday, August 09, 2007
I'm feeling back what I felt on February. Isn't August supposed to be a good month for me?
Have you ever hurt your beloved, and tried to amend yourself, without letting him know?
I feel like I'm doing that. Trying to salvage and reverse everything. But, relationships are pretty much like Chemistry. Some processes are really irreversible.
At the end of the day, the light I saw was a ray of darkness. Oh why am I digressing to this when I actually am the saddest over my trumpet now? I think...
Anyway, it's been 6 days since I fought with my brother. I just peeled the layer of dried blood on my skin and wtf the wounds have not healed yet. In fact, the biggest scar still has bright red blood on it now. Looks like it'll take a while for the wounds to really heal.
My heart is not going to be like that. The wounds on my heart will heal quickly, I'm very sure of it. If my wounds on my heart are going to heal slowly, like the improvement of my playing, I think I'd have died long ago.
Even if I had experienced less shit than other people, or maybe more than some other people. It doesn't really matter. No matter how much each of us had been through, how can we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity? It doesn't help in any way at all. If anything, we should just heal up quickly and move on. After all, what's the point of staying at the same spot, never moving?
Anyway, went to my Aunt's house just now and I thought that we were quite extra there. I mean no one was talking just watching TV like zzz.
Oh well, at least I'd have something to do on Saturday, perhaps for the last time.
There's going to be Alumni on Saturday, I heard that we only have 23 more practices before the concert in January. Looks like things are going to get hectic once again. I like. Haha.
But before the concert comes a more major event --- SA2. I really hope that I won't retain cos my parents will kill me and it'll be good bye band. I mean not like I'm like some ace player that really can depend on music, or not like my parents are supporters of band.
Which brings me to my next point. The ironies of life.
I know of some people whose parents are supportive of band but yet these people actually pon band, taking their parents support for granted. Do they think that everyone else is like them, as blessed? Personally, I'll be delighted and on cloud nine if my parents were that supportive until they call Mr. Chiang and ask why their sons didn't bring their instruments home, or ask how they're progressing.
It's really ironic how most of these people show such a terrible attitude band and think it's really all right to skip or to make noise during combined band or to be an idiot during sectionals.
Face it. Your parents support band, so why not you? The more I think of it, the more I get pissed off; thinking how fucking unfair it is for other people whose parents don't support band, it's not like they're neutral towards it, they ABHOR it.
So, to the members whose parents actually support band, cherish their support, because without it, perhaps things will just be so much harder.
Perhaps it's due to the humid weather that we opened up our hearts trapped in this uncomfortable environment; revealing a secret on the way. It's really okay if we realized that it was a mistake in the end.
Listened to music @ 9:33 PM
