♥ Friday, August 03, 2007
Ah yes, August is indeed a good month for Aries.
Anyway, I just realized Day10 is my slackest day of the whole timetable. Double maths, PE, EL, Chem. That's all! Double all the way, but still nice.
During maths, I was surprised at myself for being able to do partial fractions. I can't fail the A-Maths test next Tuesday, and even more so the CA2 test. (Will talk more on that later)
PE, um faked illness and ended up being a guidepost. =.= Then halfway through, I saw this person walking down and he was asking me if I saw a van. Well, then I found that he's called Shawn from 4F... great I didn't even know it was 4F that was selling stuff in the canteen. Anyway we just talked about PE then 1/2 hour just went by like that. Which relates me to my next point.
Only that I've changed my perception now that I realized why people hate me (in the past). Perhaps this theory of mine is false or something but it's really what I feel. In the past, if Shawn were to approach me, I'd most prolly give one-word answers and then he won't talk anymore cos I gave off that "fuck off" signal. But I don't know why either, something came over me today and I gave more than one-word answers to Shawn.
It was there and then I realized that people don't hate me because I'm fat or gay, they hate me because I was so full of myself and high up there, thinking that I'm a big shot, and that they really don't deserve to talk to me.
Perhaps it was really because of that. Anyway, I can't change their impressions on me already so now, the only thing I can do is just to move on.
The it was English and it was just fun doing short stories. Oh yeah. Chem, nothing much, as usual, I was one of the 5 odd people who responded to Ms. Aida's questions.
Then, home sweet home. But before that, fooled around in 3E classroom.
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People always look for someone to look up to; someone they can gain inspiration from, and thus succeed in life.
Is it really necessary? I shall admit, when the exco was announced, I wasn't happy when I wasn't it. Because when I read program booklets, those famous musicians always have this, "As the Band/Drum Major of XXX secondary school symphonic band..." or in the case of Mr. Chiang's bio, "... student conductor at the age of 14..." which is like band major to me, since they conduct as well. I thought you needed to be in the exco, or even better be a major to be able to succeed as a musician. Which was why I was depressed for a while when I wasn't in the exco, because I thought, that's it; I'll NEVER make it.
Then I heard that Fredy wasn't in the exco when he was in the band. He confirmed it with me. Even though he puts himself down like mad (please read his friendster profile), to me he's really already one of the better musicians I know. And that's good enough to know. I mean, Fredy was NOT in the exco. And where is he now? President of the Alumni (okay ex but whatever not like they mentioned a new one anyway), on his way to take a grade 8 (is it?) exam on snare drum... He wasn't in the exco in the band last time; but I'd be quite happy if I had his achievements...
Therefore, Fredy was my inspiration for a long time. A very long time. Then I realized something else; why? I mean why do I need to lean on Fredy? It would be fine if I just worked on towards my goals, using the mindset that I will be like Fredy, if not better. But, I did something else, something like over-depending on him, so much so that I forgot who I was, I was supposed to be like Fredy, if not better, not be him. Therefore, I changed my perception.
My source of motivation and inspiration is myself. Fredy is my target. Yes, I see my arrow into the target and I see another target; be better than myself.
Do I sound like Fredy is a puppet or something? Because he isn't. I shouldn't be depending too much on him. Fredy still rocks though!
I tried to find someone as talented as you, but in the process I forgot that I was just as special too.
Okay... why is Fredy a spelling mistake? Freddy is the "correct" one but Fredy is still right, stupid spelling error thingy.
Anyway, Mr. Kwok's story is just true. I... am not going to write about cos he'll prolly change it again on Monday since heard a 3rd edition.
I wanted to type another long essay on perseverance but I'll just sum EVERYTHING up in one line, a quote from Ayu's my name's WOMEN.
"Perhaps it is true that the more one experiences suffering, the more he can be tender and strong."
Listened to music @ 9:56 PM
