♥ Thursday, June 14, 2007
Everyone has their own reasons for their favourites.
Do you really believe/think that I like pink cos I'm gay?
Actually, pink rocks because it's so cheerful, bright and beautiful, something that I always find hard relating to. I mean it's so hard to be cheerful when you're feeling down, then you have to be careful that you won't look like you're acting emo when you're sad.
Different shades of pink also reflects different levels of my mood.
This pink means I'm feeling very horrible.
This one when I'm feeling all right.
There's no pink for a happy mood cos
1) I can't find a darker shade of pink here
2) I rarely feel happy
And it occurred to me how much mind is over matter. For example, in the solo in In Times Of Triumph (i-dyanmic or tits), I used to pressurize myself with weird scenarios of screw ups. And yesterday I repeated "I won't lose!" and I think it turned out much better than the previous times. Perhaps it still sucks to you, but to me, I know I've did my best. And I'll extend that best, of course.
Oh, by the way, I like purple and green too.
Purple gives me mystery (even more so than black.)
Green is just calm and it reminds me of gardens and flowers.
Colors, colors, colors. I think they can say alot just by being themselves.
I can say alot just by being myself too.
Which means, always contradicting myself, being muddle-headed, hot-headed, impatient, shooting my mouth off without considering the feelings of others, and many more.
Perhaps such traits are bad but sometimes I feel that this quote is true.
"You can't make everyone like you, you can only be more mindful of the people around you."
Which is why I try to lessen the intensity of those traits.
There might be alot of secrets about me no one knows, not because I'm conservative and not because I'm ashamed of them. But, just thinking about them, brings back horrible childhood memories and it's not so nice to be infiltrating them into your mind 24/7. That is why I don't tell them to anyone.
But of course, I'd tell them to someone, someone I know that I won't mind the rest of my life with. With the right time, place.
Oh well.
Listened to music @ 11:25 AM
