♥ Saturday, June 02, 2007
Today, in Alumni, I was totally stuck and stunned at the Disney songs. I mean I seriously couldn't play ANYTHING.
Looking around me, I realised that I really am the lousliest.
All my life, I've always heard sayings of great inspiration, words such as, "If you are weak, even better. You'll work so much harder because you don't want to be weak."
Or sayings like, "No rain, can't get the rainbow."
I don't know if I'm actually "working hard". I hate it when I see zero improvement when I practise. Is that impatience?
In fact, my defeatist attitude was so like strong that it actually made me have this desire to quit Alumni. Because sometimes I feel like I'm in a different world with them. I feel very distant, in terms of musicality with them.
I have... no sense of rythmn, a horrible tone, bad intonation and I am tone deaf, and um many more just that I can't remember them now.
"If you don't like your tone, no one else will."
I don't feel like giving in to all those flaws of mine. I mean everything stated above can be overcomed, that is if I have the desire to.
Then Fredy said this. (Well something like it)
"I don't want you to quit, I want you to improve."
I think that's what it is at the end of the day, isn't it? To improve and learn from our mistakes. Sure I may be like totally stunned at those Disney songs today but hey I was equally at Hanover Festival (lol at me getting lost in hindsight), With Heart And Voice, Cappadocia and all those. Now I can really play them, save Cappadocia which I don't think I suck as bad as a month ago.
The thing is, I'm not like stopping. I'm going to improve!
Music, like sports or anything else we do, needs practising and thus result in improvement.
I remember that post-exam activity day when Mr Kwok was mentioning about Albert Enstein. Something about him and the light bulb. So well I got his little question correct and I can't remember what my answer was. Well anyway he proceeded to say this.
"When I speak into the microphone in front of a group of people; I get butterflies in my stomach you know. But each time I do it again, I get better. You see gentlemen, you have to keep doing it to get better."
Yeah.
We have to keep doing it to get better.
Remembering when I first saw Hanover Festival last year and got LOST like LOST and then I needed to depend on my masterclass teacher, who actually shelled time after his lessons with us, to be able to get the gist of the song.
No more depending. No more, "oh I can leave it to XX." or "XX is not here... shit I can't play anymore!"
Yeah. So to sum this inspiration I feel. A song that best expresses it.
My pink Poketech shines
When you are lost, toss a coin
I'm always looking forward
I'll become stronger.
When I'm by your side, I can be your strength.
Instead of saying 'You can do it!', I want to say 'It's okay."
If you believe in your courage then, GO! GO! GO!
If it's with you then YEAH!
Together, STEP!
With a big JUMP!
Maybe you can fly there!
If it's with then YEAH!
Together, STEP!
For tomorrow we'll JUMP!
I'm not afriad of any mountain and any hill when I'm with you.
Running across, riding on the wind.
We'll get stronger!
Listened to music @ 10:47 PM
