♥ Friday, February 09, 2007
Had the re-audition today... and I failed again.
Thus I had come up with the equation:
(I failed)² = I am an utter failure as a trumpeter.
I was emo for a while I must say.
But something inside tells me, for what am I sulking?
The reason why I failed again is simply because I'm not practicing enough. Perhaps experience and talent plays a part but hard work is defenitely the deciding factor.
Thus I decided that I have to be strong, so that I won't fall to life's even greater obstacles.
If I believe, I can.
As Mr Kwok said, am I the one with high level of hope, moderate level of hope or just little/no hope at all?
To succeed, I must have a high level of hope.
I can do it again on Wednesday!
Anyway, ever had something that reminds you of someone close to you?
I certainly have one.
It's a jewel. Why a jewel? It's because that certain someone's name is a jewel and I shan't reveal more.
That jewel cheered me up again.
Just thinking of the beautiful moments. They may be gone forever but still I hold them closely to my heart and I feel so fuzzy all over.
That makes me think of Ayumi Hamasaki's JEWEL. It's a nice ballad and the lyrcis are in the ultimate form of simplicity and so beauitful at the same time. I might post the lyrics at the bottom of the post.
Allow me to digress once again, but how many times have you claimed you hate someone but in actual fact, you really don't?
I have. Countless times to be excat.
I tell people, "I HATE XXX XXX!" However, I don't. In fact, more often than not, I respect XXX XXX and admire XXX XXX's honesty and wackiness. Ha I am a weird person... weird weird weird.
However, all that I think is just what I think. No matter what happens, XXX XXX's opinion of me will never change and XXX XXX shall hate me till the day he dies but I don't care. I still respect XXX XXX. I still admire XXX XXX. I still *love* XXX XXX.
Please don't take love as a big deal. Love is big and diverse. Love isn't just about sex and boys and girls.
Love is about care and concern over someone. That is my defenition of love. I love whoever that I care for. That includes those cute dogs and cats.
Well back to the first topic, I shall be a Beautiful Fighter and get over this hurdle. My dreams will still be there so long as I believe in them. A Beautiful Fighter is resiliant and never gives up, a Beautiful Fighter doesn't think negative. I shall be a Beautiful Fighter.
Well anyway (again!), I was appointed by Mr Chiang to coach the new sec ones in my section. I had two 'virgins'. One picked up pretty fast. The other, I'll work more on him. The two PRC scholars are good trumpeters too. Haha.
Speaking of coaching and all that, when Miss Tan scolded some of my classmates yesterday, she said something so awe-inspiring.
"I am not that kind of teacher who just says 'Those who are interested come to the front and those who are not just stay at the back and do your own things.' As long as you are in my class, under my lessons, you are worthy of my teaching."
I will treat my juniors this way.
Junior abuse is out of my league too. So heave a sigh of relief guys.
Under the grey and square sky
Is filled with all kinds of desires today
But I don't lose sight of the light among them
And can walk, looking forward
Because you always show me
That there remains a purity even in a corner of this city
Breathing calmly, I looked at you
Who had fallen asleep, so exhausted
The sweet, unprotected profile
That no one in the world but me knows
One day when the sunlight poured and the wind blew gently
As if it were nothing special
I felt alone that something was changing in me
Slowly, firmly and surely
Though I wasn't sad at all, tears fell down
Because your feelings sank painfully into
The scar in the depth of my heart
And changed it into tenderness
If you come across deep sorrow
I wish you will share it with me
I'll be able to do anything for the smile
My precious treasure
My precious treasure
JEWEL Ayumi Hamasaki
Listened to music @ 8:58 PM
